A Bit More Work

Monday is bed-stripping day in our house. Up until recently, bed-stripping day meant throwing all of the sheets into the washer first thing in the morning and then putting them right back on the beds as soon as they came out of the dryer later in the day. Everyone had favorite sheets, and we just used those same sheets over and over again.

But, there always seemed to be a problem. We would think the sheets were dry only to find a wet spot – right at nap time. Or, it would seem that we would have available time for making beds early in the day while the sheets were still washing or drying. When they were finally done, we couldn't seem to find the chance to get the beds remade.

In came the new solution.

I sorted through all of our sheets and made sure that every bed had two sets of sheets, and then I got rid of all of the extras. Next I made a proclamation. Sheets would be rotated every week. Everyone would have their favorite sheets every other week. To my surprise there was very little protest to my proclamation as the kids realized how much smoother our Monday mornings would flow.

As the weeks have gone by, though, I have realized why it was that we never rotated sheets. When we just put the same sheets right back on, I didn't have to fold any sheets! Now, every week, I have to fold sheets. It's not that it's too horrible of a job. There are other chores I like much less. It's just that it's annoying and tedious. It's harder. It's more work.

But, I do it. Every week. Because it makes Mondays better for my family.

Sometimes when we make decisions in life, we automatically choose certain paths because they seem to be the simpler solution. And sometimes simpler truly is better. But, there are other times when I think we miss out on what's best for us because we don't want to do that little bit of extra work. We don't want to make that little bit of extra sacrifice. And so we give up what's best for something that's just decent. Or, even worse, we lose out entirely.

God's best for us takes work. It takes effort that we often would rather not exert. It takes sacrifice. So what will we do? Will we be willing to step out and work? Or will we miss out?

Rick & Bubba's Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage

In addition to reviewing for WaterBrook Multnomah, I also review for Thomas Nelson's BookSneeze program.  I am ashamed to admit that I have had Rick & Bubba's Guide to the Almost Nearly Perfect Marriage by radio personalities Rick Burgess and Bill "Bubba" Bussey for, well, for a long time.  Somehow it has continually been pushed to the bottom of my "must-do" stack.  But, I was determined to read it and share a review, and I finally succeeded!

Keep in mind, Rick and Bubba are radio personalities of the comedic sort, and that is very clearly reflected in their hilarious guide to marriage.  Although they in no way claim to be marriage experts or counselors, Rick and Bubba do have plenty of personal experience in marriage from which to draw many tips, hints, and suggestions for surviving a marriage of your own. 

There were times as I read the book that I just cringed.  One of my struggles with comedy is that laughs are typically bought at the expense of someone, frequently a spouse.  Many, many laughs were bought in this book at the expense of Sherri Burgess and Betty Bussey.  And there were many times when I, as the reader, wanted to ask, "Do you really and truly love each other?  Is this really what biblical marriage is about?  Will this book really have a positive impact on readers needing to grow in their marriages?"  Several years ago I read a great bit of advice - never say anything negative about your spouse in public.  Never.  Both book and radio are both very public forums, and Rick and Bubba seem to have plenty of negativity to share about their wives and marriages in both forums.

Having said that, however, I recognize three things.  First, humor is attention grabbing, and many powerful points can be made - and burned into memory - through the use of humor.  Second, humor tends to break down guards and barriers that prevent people from hearing truths.  Third, there are people who will listen to things wrapped in humor who will not listen to it in any other way. 

And in this book, Rick Burgess and Bubba Bussey have used jokes about their wives and marriage to pack quite a punch.

Despite their barbs at their wives and their marriages, Rick and Bubba bring home some fantastic truths in their marriage guide.  They deal with some powerful topics from finances to communication to forgiveness.  But my absolute favorite chapters are "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" and Enemies of the Mate".  In those two chapters, Rick and Bubba deal with the very thing that made me struggle through the book - respect and honor for your mate.  I have never read a marriage book with a more direct and powerful description of what it means for husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church.  Their reminders to wives of Christ's command to submit to their husbands in Christ was presented as powerfully as any preacher could have presented it. 

And they did it all in a book full of laughter and fun (and just a few tears).

In the end, despite the barbs and the poking of fun, I have to give Rick & Bubba's Guide to the Nearly Perfect Marriage a big thumbs up. 

I received this book for review from Thomas Nelson's BookSneeze review program. 

True Comfort

All my life as I have studied Paul, I have always seen him as bold and fearless. How else could he have moved so confidently from one city to the next after being treated so badly in each location? It has always seemed a bit intimidating to me because, to be honest, I am a scaredy-cat over so many things, especially when the unknown or the definitely hazardous is ahead of me! I freeze up, lock up, and have to be literally forced to move forward. It has always seemed to me that Paul just moved right on ahead with such boldness that he couldn't have been afraid. Each city had to just be a new challenge! It was almost as if it was his goal to make the city leaders mad everywhere he went!

But, in reading Acts 18, I see a slightly more realistic picture. It's an image of a real man. Not a man who shies away from what God has called him to do, but a man who, bold though he may be, still experiences fear. We know this because Jesus does not lie, and if Jesus – who knows the hearts of all men – has to tell Paul to no longer be afraid (Acts 18:9-10), then Paul has been afraid. Suddenly he seems less of a superman and more of a human being who acted in obedience to his Savior despite his fears. Suddenly the stories become more real – and more relevant.

But, I've mentioned much of this before. What is new is that it doesn't stop there.

Jesus Himself has just informed Paul in a vision that he doesn't have to be afraid, that no one is going to attack and harm him, that Jesus has many followers in Athens, and that he should just go on preaching without fear. So, you'd think that everything would be smooth sailing from there on out, right?

Wrong!

Along comes Acts 18:12 in which we find the Jews doing nothing less than making a united attack on Paul and dragging him before the proconsul Gallio.

Can you just hear the thoughts that must have been going through Paul's head?

“Okay, Lord, I thought you said this wasn't going to happen! You said I didn't have to be afraid, yet here I am again! I know that everything is under Your control, and I just don't understand what's going on here!”

And so, Paul prepares to defend himself as he's always done. He prepares to give his big speech. And, I can just imagine the battle going on in his mind as he struggles to trust that God is going to keep His word while the warning bells are going off – the alarm that reminds him that this situation is very similar to the times he's been flogged, stoned, or run out of town.

And then we get to verse 14.

Just as Paul was about to speak, Gallio said to the Jews, "If you Jews were making a complaint about some misdemeanor or serious crime, it would be reasonable for me to listen to you. But since it involves questions about words and names and your own law—settle the matter yourselves. I will not be a judge of such things." So he had them ejected from the court. (Acts 18:14-16)

Is that not absolutely awesome? Before Paul could even speak, God moved through a pagan proconsul to keep His word – Paul was dragged into court but he was not physically attacked nor was he even instructed to stop preaching! His accusers were silenced, and he went right back to his work.

How would I have responded? Would I have believed that God was going to do what He said, or would I have felt that He had failed me?

God keeps His word. Period. It may not be in the way or in the time that I expect or desire, but He does it, nonetheless. Will I trust Him?

Makeup

The other night I was taking off my eye makeup, and something struck me – my eyes look incredibly different with makeup. They don't just look brighter – they almost change shape! They look rounder, fuller. Simply by dabbing on some color, eyeliner, and mascara, I can totally change the look of my eyes which, in turn can change the look of my face as a whole.

Noticing the difference of my face with and without eye makeup brought about a deeper – and much more disturbing – thought.

How often do we put on and take off our Christlikeness as if it were makeup?

Looking like Christ is supposed to be something the becomes more progressively true of us as each day passes. The transformation that takes place today should be permanently in place and added onto tomorrow. And yet, all too often we have days when we are Christlike and then days we look nothing like Him. It is truly as if we are putting on our spiritual makeup to show the world that we are becoming like Him. But, when we come home – away from the eyes of the world – we strip off that makeup so we can just kick back and relax.

That's not real Christlikeness. And, it's not good enough for me. I long to truly change and grow on a daily basis. To not put on and take off my spirituality like a cosmetic routine, but to wear it proudly and continually, day in and day out, whether I'm surrounded by people or all alone.

True Rest

As I started reading in Acts 17, I couldn't help but glance ahead a bit. When I did, I found something very interesting.

There is no rest from service.

Our culture is replete with attempts to find rest. We have a busy week, and we just need a break. We finish a big project, and it's time for vacation. We teach Sunday school for a year, and then it's time to pass it on to someone else while we just sit back and learn for a little while. To be honest, it starts with childhood. Think about it – chores are worked through just to get to playtime. School seems to be one steady progression to the next break. We literally live for our rest times.

Not Paul. Paul persevered from one city to the next. Sometimes with violence. Sometimes in secrecy. Occasionally moving on of his own free will, but more often than not he was forced out. You would think that at some point he'd go to a new city and decide he just wanted to hide out for a little while – to take a break. Maybe he did. In fact, I get the impression he wanted to do just that in Athens. In Acts 17:16, we find Paul waiting for his companions, and while he was waiting his “spirit was being provoked within him.” He just couldn't handle it! He couldn't stop preaching! He couldn't stop teaching! He couldn't stop serving! His goal wasn't to get to the end of a project – his goalwasthe project. And when one stopped, it was time for another.

I read that and think about how afraid I would be to go into each successive city. I just don't see how I could overcome that fear and continue to set myself up for abuse and persecution. And then I read Acts 18:9-10 and I find an indication that Paul was afraid, too! Bold and strong Paul was afraid! And yet he still could not keep from preaching in each new city.

Acts 18 – where we get the indication that he was afraid – finds Paul in Corinth. And there God does give him rest in one aspect. God gives him rest from the persecution, just for a little while. But, there is no rest from the preaching and teaching. No rest from the service.

God does grant rest to us, but not the kind of rest we so often chase. It's a rest that is found in His peace. It is a rest found in the fact that He looks at us and says, “Don't be afraid.” It's a rest that reminds us that He is in control of all things and that He always has work going on that He desires us to be a part of.

At some point, we have to stop letting our lives revolve around that next break – that next weekend or next vacation. That type of rest is ineffective and ultimately unrestful. Only when we get to the point where our spirits are provoked within us to continue service will we truly come to a point of discovering real rest – rest that comes to us even as we continue serving faithfully and passionately.

Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner

I have always loved music.  I can remember as a very, very young child hovering over my record player listening to my favorite records over and over again.  Then I progressed to my parents stereo.  When I was ten I wanted nothing more for Christmas than my own Walkman, and a few years later a stereo of my own.  I moved from Sandi Patti to Wayne Watson to Petra and 4HIM, and then in college discovered the joy of an ever-widening selection of artists and groups.

As I have grown spiritually, I have been continually thrilled by the way God has used music to clarify biblical truths in my heart. When I received an email offering the chance to review Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner, I was excited about the prospect of reading the story of someone else whose spiritual journey seemed so linked to music. 

In the end I was sorely disappointed.  Within the first 50 pages, I knew that the only reason I was reading Hear No Evil cover to cover was because I had committed to do so for this review.  

I knew before delving into the book that Matthew Paul Turner had dealt with a fundamental upbringing in which contemporary Christian music was considered of the devil.  Having been involved in many discussions with fundamentalists about the so-called evils of Christian music, I was very aware of the tension caused by being an Independent Fundamental Baptist who liked music.  Knowing that, I did expect that tension to be included in the book.  However, I expected it to be presented right alongside tales of how this or that "forbidden" song grabbed the author's heart and expanded his understanding of and relationship with the Lord.  The tension was there, but the gripping tales were missing. 

Instead, Hear No Evil essentially serves as a platform to express Turner's opinion of the two institutions that have, apparently, most powerfully impacted his life.  First, Turner makes a cynical and stereotypical presentation of the failings of organized evangelical denominations.  Moving on from there, his cynicism fuels a perpetual irritation with the inner workings of the Christian music business from which he has made a good portion of his living. 

Hear No Evil was fortunately a quick read.  If you are interested in a quality quick read, however, there are several other books I would happily recommend instead. 

Added note: Although my opinion of the book remains unchanged, I do have respect for an author who is willing to thank a reviewer for a negative review.  If you're interested in other - and more positive - reviews of Hear No Evil, click on Turner's name in the comments of this post and head on over to his blog where many reviews are linked.  Thanks!

This book was provided to me for review by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group.  For more information about the book, click on the linked title.  If you're interested in receiving free books for review, just fill out this form.

Multitasking with Wisdom

If there is one thing a mom needs to be, it's a multi-tasker. Make that phone call while sweeping the floor. Fold laundry while listening to a child practice her reading. Go ahead and put together that grocery list while in the kitchen cooking lunch. Don't waste a moment because somehow it all has to be done!

The ability to multi-task is a phenomenally important one, but mastery of this ability does not come without cost.

As we improve our multi-tasking skills, we can begin to feel as if we're wasting our time if we are not multi-tasking. The problem comes when we feel like we have to multi-task in the middle of interacting.

It can be hard to just sit and visit with a friend without some type of busy work in our hands.

When our children just want to snuggle up with us on the couch, we feel as if we need to at least have a book to read, either to them or silently to ourselves.

We fidget during church or a meeting because all we're doing is sitting there!

We try to think of things we can do with our spouses for date night. I mean, come on – just sit there and enjoy each other's company? Don't we have to have a plan and be doing something?

But, the worst of all comes when we sit down to spend time with our Lord and Savior. We have difficulty just sitting with Him in prayer without doing something to keep our hands busy in hopes that our minds will not wander.

It is possible that I am the only one who struggles with this issue, but I have my doubts. We as wives, moms, employees, students, homeschoolers, and so much more have this pressing need to get it all done. We can't waste a moment! So, we max out our capabilities and our attention 100% of the time, just to fit it all in.

Sometimes, some things need to just be let go.

There is a time to make full use of our time, and there is a time to devote our full attention to one thing. This is more true with relationships than with any other aspect of our lives. In my own life, multi-tasking has become a habitual response in almost every situation. If I can't multi-task in some activity, I feel as if I have to rush through the activity in order to get on to the next thing.

Multi-tasking should never be a habitual response. Instead, it should be a tool that we use with wisdom. It should be something we use with wisdom and discretion – and something we put aside with ease at the appropriate time. I must confess that this will be a hard habit for me to break in the coming weeks, especially since I simultaneously need to learn how utilize multi-tasking wisely throughout much of each day. But, I long to grow in knowledge and discernment regarding when to use it and when to set it aside. And I pray that as a result, my relationships will grow – with friends, with my children, with my beloved husband, and, most of all, with my precious Lord and Savior.

The Whole Household

As I've been reading through Acts, something has been bugging me. It's a phenomenon I refer to as “The Whole Household Thing.” Very sophisticated label, isn't it?

Three specific instances come to mind right off the bat. There might be more, but the three that are glaringly obvious are found in Acts 11:14, Acts 16:15, and Acts 16:31.

In each instance, the person in question was saved, along with their whole household. The most intriguing one for me is that last one where Paul tells the jailer in the story – that he will be saved, as will his whole household.

How in the world does Paul know? At this point, he's never been to the jailer's household. He's never met the rest of the jailer's family. He hasn't been able to interact with them to determine that they are ripe for the gospel. What ability does he have to predict how the jailer's family will respond to the message he presents to them?

The whole dilemma leads me to wonder about cultural and family expectations. In our western culture, everything is phenomenally individualistic. Even within the boundaries of our families, we are very much individuals. Each person makes his own choices. Parents hope their children will follow a good path, but ultimately they feel that they must simply defer to their child's preferences.

Not all cultures follow that pattern. In some cultures, both past and present, a parent's choice is expected to be accepted by the whole family. What would happen in our culture if a man made a decision and automatically expected his wife and children to fall in line with it? How often would we see wholehearted trust and obedience on the part of the family? How often would we see a family place full confidence in a patriarch, trusting that his decision truly was best for them all?

I wonder if that's what happened in these situations – a complete trust in what the head of the household chose. A confidence that his or her decision was for everyone's best.

As a result, salvation – truly the best gift of all – came to each household. Not one or two members, but the whole household.

I still struggle with the concept because each of us is individually accountable to the Lord when it comes to our salvation. But, I've also struggled with the number of families I see where one member – frequently the matriarch – of the family is incredibly passionate about service and ministry while many of the family members are just nominal Christians, if not unchurched altogether. I can't help but think that we must be missing something.

I would dearly and truly love to see it – a whole household saved because of their trust in the decision of one. Not just a household deciding to start attending church together, but a household radically changed because of the love of Christ.

Love & War by John & Stasi Eldredge

Books providing advice about marriage seem to be abundant, each promising to hold the secret to that perfect marriage.  Some of these are more useful than others.  The one that offers the best advice for your marriage might not be much help for mine.  So, when analyzing a new contribution to this great supply of self-help, it is important to discuss what sets it apart from those books already on a local bookstore’s shelf.
 
What seems to set Love and War apart is that it is written by a couple.  Other marriage help books have been written by couples,  frequently by couples who are specifically involved in marriage ministry.  So, this is not necessarily a new technique.  But, it is enough to distinguish Love and War from the great supply of marriage help books available.  And, the fact that John and Stasi Eldredge are not marriage counselors - rather simply a married couple coming together to write a book - does place Love and War into an even more narrow category of marriage books.

In reading Love and War,  I think the joint writing effort is what impacted me the most.  The Eldredges had to sort through issues, ideas, preconceived notions, and assumptions to successfully complete this written project.  And, they are honest about the process as they write the book.  John and Stasi do not by any stretch of the imagination claim to have “arrived” after twenty years of marriage.  In fact, they discuss and deal with some of the thoughts, feelings, and issues they battle while in the very process of writing a book about finding that great marriage.

Because of this perspective, Love and War is real.  It will not provide the automatic solution to marital problems.  But it will  provide an honest look into the day to day normalcy of marriage.  The good, the bad, and the mundane.  It can lead a couple to process through things they might never have envisioned impacting their marriage.

The advice, suggestions, and input shared in Love and War is nothing truly new.  Instead, it is a reminder.  Joining John and Stasi in their glimpse into marriage nudged me to be aware of some areas of my marriage I’d been neglecting.  Ways I don’t recognize the needs of my husband.  Things I allow in my own life that can hurt our marriage.

We all need a reminder sometimes.

I would recommend Love and War as a useful tool to give married couples that reminder.  Couples in a healthy and growing marriage who need to ensure they continue moving in the right direction.  Couples who are moving along, but find themselves distant and need a little nudge to come back together.  Couples who find themselves living two separate lives under the same roof.  Seeing the honest image of a couple that struggles and grows all at once could infuse a little more life into all our marriages.

As with everything, different people have different insight when it comes to something like reviewing a book.  Doug also read Love and War and has reviewed it on his blog.  I encourage you to read his thoughts as well! 

Love and War was provided to me for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.  To learn more about this book or acquire your own copy, click here.  If you are interested in reviewing books for WaterBrook Multnomah, fill out a simple registration form and watch for invitation emails.

Toilet Bowl Water

My cat likes to drink from the toilet bowl. I don't know why. I've never quite understood it. It's not that we don't give her fresh water to drink. In fact, there are days when she follows me into the laundry room and watches me fill her bowl with fresh water, and then goes to the bathroom and begs me to open the toilet lid – and then fusses at me when I don't.

It all makes me want to look at her and say, “Don't you get it?!” I mean, come on – toilet water? Water bowl water is clean and good. It's got to taste better, doesn't it? At the very least, it's healthier even if it doesn't taste as good. It just doesn't make any sense!

I never would do such a thing. No, never. I always prefer the things that are best for me.

After all, I always choose a handful of healthy raw carrots over a stack of greasy potato chips when I'm in a snacky mood, right?

I always choose a hard, fast walk over curling up on the couch in front of a funny tv show, right?

I always choose to do things God's way instead of the world's, right?

Ouch.

I wonder how many times the Lord looks at me and asks why I'm drinking out of the toilet of this world when He offers the living water of heaven. I know I do it many, many, many times. He has such good things for me, but I am so convinced that I am giving up something so good if I choose His way instead of the world's. He, on the other hand, sees how absolutely nasty the things of this world are for me.

It doesn't take much for me to provide a clean bowl of water to my cat. But, God, the Almighty Creator of the universe went to great lengths to make the things of heaven accessible to me. He gave up His only Son to die a horrible death and take upon Himself all of the nastiness of this world. Somehow – I wonder if even in heaven I will grasp how – that sacrifice freed me from having to settle for the nastiness and bestowed upon me the privilege of being heir to everything that rightfully belonged to His Son.

And yet on a daily basis I reject it for the toilet bowl of this earth. When will I learn?

Oh that starting this day, this hour, this very moment I would begin to crave the things of God increasingly more than I crave the things of this earth. Oh that I would thirst for heavenly water instead of this toilet bowl.

What We Know

As I think through what I want to say in this post, it all seems so familiar. Maybe an earlier thought, maybe a challenge. Some days it's hard to know what I've already written about. I suppose that's a challenge for someone who loves to write on a regular basis! But, one thing I'm realizing is that even if I've already written about or processed through a topic, it never hurts to review it. And that, in fact, goes hand in hand with the thought I want to share today.

Recently I read again the familiar story of Cornelius. Found in Acts 10, this is the story of Peter's first real exposure to the conversion of Gentiles. So many awesome lessons are found in this whole chapter, in the experiences of both Cornelius and Peter. The first lesson that struck me is found in Acts 10:1-8, which is the introduction to Cornelius himself.

Cornelius loved the Jews. He loved their ways. He gave generously to them. But, even more importantly, he loved their God. He prayed to their God and sought to serve Him in the best way he knew. Based on all that happens throughout this chapter, it's easy to see that his heart was truly in the right place. He really wanted to be a follower of the one true God, and he followed to the best of his ability all that he knew up to that point.

And that's what got me – he was obedient to all he knew. And Acts 10:4 tells us that God was pleased with Cornelius' faithfulness. And then God showed him more.

We don't have to know it all to be pleasing to God. But, we do have to be obedient to what we know. And, as we are obedient to what we know, He takes us further and shows us more. He always provides a way to learn!

Which leaves me to this thought...if there is ever a time when I am not being instructed to go forward, maybe it's time to stop and evaluate. Am I being fully obedient to what the Lord has shown me? Am I following in all I know thus far? Am I being faithful with what He has entrusted to me?

God was so faithful to supply all that Cornelius needed to grow and to be a true God-follower. He will do the same for me as I follow in obedience. Oh, how I look forward to growing!