Kiss Me Again by Barbara Wilson

(Please take note that this book, and therefore the review, deal with adult issues. All are presented from a godly and biblical perspective.)

Marital health has been a passion of mine since long before I was ever married. When reading the description of Barbara Wilson's Kiss Me Again, I felt that, at the very least, this book might grant me some insight into ministering to women who are struggling with intimacy in their marriage.

The first thing I noticed about the book was that it is not your average how-to book about drawing closer to your spouse. It is, instead, a book about sexual healing in a marriage that has been affected by any form of sexual encounters outside of the marriage. This includes both consensual and non-consensual sexual encounters.

The second thing I noticed was that this was not your average how-to self-help, self-contained healing book. Barbara Wilson in no way claims that if you read her book you will find all the tools you need for complete healing from your sexual past . She frequently references other sources of help, with the Bible itself topping her list in many instances. She also encourages professional counseling, accountability partners, and church support and she references other books and helpful resources. I found that perspective highly refreshing.

Thirdly, I found this book to be very practical. Many books of this type spend the first four or five chapters simply laying a background and leaving the reader wondering if practical help will ever come. Although the actual exercises are not introduced until chapter five, chapters one through four step right into information that contributes directly to the journey of healing. They are very practical and explanatory chapters, and they lead the reader to begin to make progress in understanding and healing before the actual “steps” are even begun.

I personally entered my marriage without any of the sexual baggage this book deals with. Despite this fact, there are many sexually-related growth areas in even a healthy marriage like mine that would be helped greatly by some of this information. IfI had not agreed to review this book, however, I highly doubt I would have read past the first chapter. The author clearly states early in the book that although some of the material might help women who enter their marriages as virgins, it is not written for them. I feel that this book is beneficial even for Christian women who entered their marriages as virgins, not only for their own marriages, but also for their interaction with friends who need this healing and for the parenting of their daughters. I believe if the first chapter included a warm invitation to those of us who entered our marriages as virgins, many, many more women might benefit from the information found inKiss Me Again.

For more information about this book or how to get it for yourself, click on the cover photo above.

This book was provided to me by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group in exchange for this review. If you are interested in receiving books for review, click here for more information.

I Shall Return!

Just about the time I thought I had a system of consistency worked out for blogging here, life intervened again. For those of you who actually do read this blog and care, I have not abandoned it! I still do have more than book reviews to put on here! It just might be a couple of weeks before a new regular schedule is established...

Other than the four book reviews I have committed to finish this year, there will not be much activity for the next two or three weeks. We are leaving this weekend for a mini-vacation, and then we will be moving across town. Please pray that we will be settled quickly and back into a normal routine very soon so as to not get behind in school or in other obligations. And, once we're semi-settled, I will be back to type up all the thoughts I've missed typing recently! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

The Sound of Sleigh Bells by Cindy Woodsmall

As an avid reader, I love a book that offers a strong literary challenge, but as a homeschooling mother of three young children, I love the chance to pick up a good book that I can read quickly and in short spurts.

A few months ago I was introduced to author Cindy Woodsmall when I reviewed her bookThe Hope of Refuge for WaterBrook Multnomah. It was just what I needed – a well-written but easy read with captivating characters. When I received an email informing me that Woodsmall's newest book was available for review, I was thrilled!

Beth Hertzler is a single young Amish woman with a dark secret confined deep within her heart. Having lost her fiance to a terrible accident, Beth has determined to never re-enter Amish society as an eligible young woman. Instead she immerses herself in the business of her aunt's store, vowing to wear the black of mourning for the rest of her days.

An “old maid” herself, Beth's aunt Lizzy is determined to see that her beloved niece breaks out of her depression-induced shell and chooses to move on with her life. The more she pushes, however, the more determined Beth becomes to never reveal her secret to her family or her community. She is resolute in the choices she has made for her life.

It is almost expected that such a heroine would not remain in her shroud of black forever, so it is no spoiler to say that Beth does, indeed, find freedom from the darkness that has surrounded her heart and soul. What grabbed me, however, was the discovery of the identify of the dark secret that held her bound so tightly. Her own perceptions of personal responsibility for past experiences are perceptions held by many young women in their relationships. They are perceptions from which they, too, need freedom. Those of us who walk in the freedom already can hardly imagine the bonds of grief, responsibility, and helplessness experienced by these young women. A miracle is required to grant them freedom.

For Beth, the miracle begins with the discovery of a beautiful carving that grabs her soul. As she exchanges letters with the carver, the bonds begin to loosen, leading her to her ultimate freedom from her past.

The Sound of Sleigh Bellsis a wonderful book for the season. Whether you have a several hours to curl up under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate and read from cover to cover or, like me, you just have a few minutes to steal away here and there for a quick chapter, this is a sweet book of redemption, healing, and romance.

And the best news of all – I have a copy ofThe Sound of Sleigh Bellsfor one fortunate reader! Leave a comment before midnight, Wednesday, October 21 to enter the drawing for this book. The winner will be announced Thursday, October 22. And, if you're not the lucky winner, clicking on the picture above will take you to Random House where you can pick up a copy for yourself.

As always, if you are interested in reviewing books, click here to go to WaterBrook Multnomah's site to sign up.I received this book for free in exchange for posting this review, and you can do the same!

Teachable Moments

I love teachable moments. They come quite frequently when you're with your kids all the time!

Some of them are fun teachable moments - those times when history comes alive or you see science in action and it all falls right into place with what you've been learning every day.

Other moments are not nearly as fun, especially for Mommy, but they are just as important, if not moreso!

We experienced just such a teachable moment last Friday. Doug and I have been walking for exercise. We started off walking for thirty minutes at a solid, but not overly speedy pace. But lately we've upped it, pushing ourselves intensely. Four miles per hour, then four and a half. Lengthening our time to 45 minutes. Then adding stairs. Down and then back up the stairs every other lap, totaling 20 flights of stairs through the course of our 45 minutes. Last Thursday we closed in on the end of our 45 minutes only to discover that we were walking much faster than normal. Pushing ourselves had increased our speed to five miles per hour, and we realized how much the walking had been paying off!

Then came Friday. Barely ten minutes in, I knew I was in trouble. I felt nauseous and physically sapped. I always feel like I really have to push myself to make it the full 45 minutes. But, Friday was different. Friday I felt that I would surely be sick if I even tried. And that's when it occurred to me - I'd had no water all day. Here it was 4:00 in the afternoon, a point in the day where I have usually consumed somewhere between 32 and 48 ounces of water. And I'd had none. I enjoyed a glass of orange juice with breakfast and a can of caffeine free diet Dr Pepper for lunch. But no water.

Just to let you know, the body doesn't like a five mile per hour walk with stair climbing thrown in for fun if it has not had an appropriate amount of water leading up to that point.

After 20 minutes, I had to call it quits, less than halfway through our normal time.

The kids are always with us through this walking, playing around us as we walk. As I went to guzzle water from a water fountain, Olivia questioned why I was stopping so soon. She knew it was too early for me to be stopping.

I had to share with her that I had been a slacker that day. I knew what I needed to do, but just hadn't put for the effort to do it. I reminded her of Prov 18:9, a verse we had memorized in school last year. I explained that because I had been slack in drinking my water, I destroyed my body's ability to do the exercise. Not getting around to doing things we know we should be doing is just as bad as blatant sin. It is still missing the mark. It is slacking, and it is destructive.

Olivia got it.

I must say that I would have much preferred to have been able to complete the walk that day. But, as I acknowledged my lack of diligence and focused on making a fresh commitment before the Lord to care properly for this temple, He took my mistake and turned it into a precious learning moment for my children. I can't imagine anything better coming out of my mistakes.

As we show our children we are learning, they will learn and grow as well. Parents, let's grow together with them, shall we?

Downhere's How Many Kings

As the summer fades and a chill is felt in the air, one of the hardest temptations for the Hibbard family to resist is the temptation to pull out Christmas music early. Our rule is that it can come out the day after Thanksgiving (along with all the decorations!), but would it really hurt to hear a few songs here and there before then?

This year we had an excuse to listen, just once - okay, maybe two or three times - to just a bit of Christmas music. The excuse was the arrival of Downhere's first Christmas album - an album for which we have long waited.

And our wait was definitely rewarded.

Downhere has succeeded in creating an incredible Christmas album. Eight of the thirteen tracks are traditional carols, which can be quite the challenge when recording Christmas music. After all, many artists have recorded the exact same carols over and over again, creating a redundancy of performance.

Downhere overcame this challenge in two ways. First, they recorded carols that are familiar in tune, but not necessarily in lyric. Most recordings of carols such as "Good King Wenceslas","Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella", and even the beautiful "What Child is This" tend to be a bit sleep-inducing, and therefore frequently ignored. Downhere presented these carols in such a way as to awaken the listener to their beauty. Second, Downhere infused their distinct flavor into each carol. They worked their musical magic, creating arrangements of these tunes that grab the listener and create a desire to hear more.

And yet, the band knows when to respect the beauty of traditional remaining traditional. Their rendition of "Silent Night" has very little Downhere influence in the arrangement. The only flavor adjustment in the hymn is a shift from traditional to distinct Downhere vocal harmonies. The result is beautiful, just as "Silent Night" should be.

A Christmas album is not complete without at least a few original songs. Downhere does not disappoint in this regard either. Two of the songs are previously recorded Christmas favorites, re-released on this album. "How Many Kings" is actually on the album twice, once in the original format and once "re-imagined." The original version is excellent and could not have been left out, while the new version is definitely worthy of the repeat performance. The remaining two original tracks are still quite new to me, but a single listen through them leaves me hungry to listen again and again until I know every word.

I very highly recommend adding this album to your Christmas collection. For searching ease, click on the album cover to direct you to Amazon.com, or click on the Downhere link to purchase directly from them.

And, if you're still not convinced (or, even if you are but would like a much more fun review to read!), head on over to Doug's blog to read what he has to say about the album!

Disclaimer: This album was purchased, and there was no exchange of money or product for this review.

Kids Love the Word!

As my girls grow as Christians, I see a behavior in them that is so absolutely precious to me. Whenever I say to my girls, "The Bible says..." in relation to some aspect of their behavior - good or bad - their faces take on a very serious look and their response is inevitably, "It does?" They have a beautiful hunger to know not only what the Bible says, but also how it applies to their daily lives.

Now, I cannot say that discovering what the Bible says automatically improves their behavior, but there is something powerful about realizing that an instruction is not just from me. There is something compelling about discovering that I am simply a messenger sent to teach them how to apply the Word of God to their lives.

Proverbs 1:8-9 says it best when it explains why my precious children should listen to me...
Hear, my son, your father's instruction
And do not forsake your mother's teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.

In all honesty, we greatly limit our children by our mentality of what they can and cannot accomplish. We make sure we give them portions of a Scripture verse, or at the very least give them the most simplified translation of it, when we teach a lesson or encourage memorization. We teach them children's songs. We read from children's Bible storybooks instead of the Bible itself. We separate them out for services rather than encouraging them to learn to listen to a sermon.

Then, they do something that surprises us.

They learn an "adult" song we listen to in the car and can sing every single word.

They end up sitting through a sermon with us and begin asking questions about what they heard.

They pull out a "real" Bible and begin reading for themselves.

They walk up and spout off a complete Bible verse - or passage - that they have managed to memorize simply by reading that favorite passage over and over and over again.

We stand amazed, when in reality we should be holding them to that standard all the time! No, not at the exclusion of allowing them fun, child-like learning treats. But, I think we sometimes focus on the fun and child-like and in the process miss what they can actually accomplish with the Word of God!

If Christ is Lord of their lives, children will respond to the Word of God. If we do not feed it to them now, though, when will they learn to use it and respond to it? If we are all to come to God as little children, then is it not possible that God has the ability to make His Word clear to those little children?

We have to be willing to

1. use the Word of God with our children in training, discipline, encouragement, prayer, and guidance.
2. realize that it is our responsibility to truly teach them what the Word says and how to use it in their lives.
   

They love God's Word! I think that's a love worth encouraging and feeding!

Moving Up

My sweet little Steven turned three this summer. It is really hard to believe that my "baby" is three. It is actually an odd spot for me. I've never had a three-year-old without having a younger child. I have had to make sure that I allow and encourage him to grow up! Before now, the three-year-old has always had to deal with some forced maturity because of my responsibilities to a younger child. Not Steven. I can still do much for him, and it has been a challenge to remember what a three-year-old is capable of doing on his own. This is especially a challenge with Steven because he is such a Mommy's boy! He still wants me to do so many things for him. (Well, except for those things that he claims are big-boy things and wants full credit for accomplishing by himself!)

There is one really major change, though, that is not being overlooked for Steven. At this age, all three of my children have made a progression at church. Regardless of what things are offered at church, after the age of three my children have had to join me for at least one service at church. They have had to learn to sit through the whole service. They have been allowed to color or draw, but they have had to sit quietly. Doug and I desire that our children learn to be participants in a worship service, and it is our belief that this training needs to begin at an early age.

I was a bit nervous this summer as we approached this phase of Steven's life. He is my first boy, and I was not entirely convinced that it would be possible to keep my sweet boy in church the way I was able to keep my calmer girls in church. And, I must be honest – I didn't make the switch right when he turned three as I did with my girls. I just didn't know if I had it in me to do so!

Reading through Proverbs this month has been convicting, though. So many verses emphasize the importance of parental guidance, leadership, correction, and discipline. I am responsible for Steven! I am responsible to teach him so many things. Doug is too, but when it comes to many things related to how to interact and behave in church, that falls to me simply because of Doug's church responsibilities on Sundays. I cannot shirk my responsibilities simply because I think they might be difficult.

So, this past Sunday night – six weeks after what should have been his first Sunday in “big church” – I finally kept him in the service with me. I stopped making excuses. I stopped allowing him to make the decision. I kept him with me.

Yes, he was a bit fidgety. Yes, he did spend some time sitting on the floor drawing and coloring. Yes, he spent some more time pacing the floor back and forth in front of me But, he also was really, really good. He was quiet. And, he even listened! He knew what his daddy was saying! He didn't grasp the significance of everything Doug was preaching, naturally, but he heard it. And a new level of his training and discipline began.

Today Prov 29:15, 17 profoundly reinforced Sunday's decision. Diligence in discipline was rather exhausting on Sunday night, and I will admit that I was definitely ready to get all three children in bed! But, it was also so very rewarding. I did have the peace of mind and gladness of heart mentioned in verse 17. And, I know that will only increase as I watch Steven and my girls all three grow in an understanding of how to behave. I know it will bring wisdom and joy. I am excited.

It is not always easy in the here and now, but it is worth every minute. It is an honor and a joy to me to be the mother of Olivia, Angela, and Steven, and I look forward with delight to the children of God they become as they grow, learn, and accept discipline.