How I Feel

If you read my blog long enough, you will probably find enough references to music to show how strongly it impacts me. Next to God's written Word, there is probably no avenue by which He speaks to me as clearly as He does through music. For as long as I can remember, there have always been concepts that have clicked when presented through song; emotions expressed fully when put to music. Now, I appreciate the beauty of classical music, but I have to admit that the music that really drives me has always been the more driven music. There is something about the instrumental interludes of a good solid 80's rock song! Go ahead - laugh away! I laugh at myself sometimes!

Those of you who have known me in the past know that I always hated country music. I remember a good friend in college bringing me a song to listen to. "I know it's country," she said, "but try to just listen to the words! It's a great song!" I knew that music was such a strong source of inspiration for me, and I wanted to make sure that I listened to instrumentation and lyrics that I felt God could clearly speak through to get my attention! Well, I still feel that way, but my receptivity has broadened quite a bit. Over the past year, Doug has won me over, and that receptivity has even broadened to included the hated country genre!

Which leads me to today's point. If you read my blog from Wednesday, you know that emotionally I was pretty down, but God was pumping His Word into my mind, causing me to recall verses I'd memorized or others I was at least familiar with. Today I was thinking about how I'm feeling. The day started with chaos and frustration, but the Lord has really intervened to put peace in our hearts and actions. As I processed all of this, I thought about a song that really puts it all into perspective for me. You guessed it - it's a country song! It's called "How I Feel" by Martina McBride, and in the song she gives a whole list of good-feeling situations that she can draw upon to express how her beloved makes her feel. That's how God's been working with me this week. It's not that circumstances right now are all that great. In fact, there seems to be a string of discouragements coming our way. But, God has been leading me to draw on the things of Him, the things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent or worthy of praise (sound familiar?). They have nothing to do with my current circumstances and everything to do with the character of God and the evidence of how He has acted in not only general history but my history as well. Memories flood to my mind of precious events and moments in my past where God showed Himself to be so near and so real. Just because my circumstances don't seem to be positive doesn't mean His presence and power are any less real.

He asked me a question yesterday. The question was, "If nothing encouraging or positive were to ever happen to you again - if the series of discouragements you've had lately were the indication of what the rest of your life would be - would I be enough for you?" My answer HAS to be yes! Naturally I don't want the rest of my life to be that way, but the truth is that it's not based on circumstances but on my viewpoint. If my life is based on my circumstances, then I could have what the world would consider a perfect life and still be constantly discouraged. My life has to be based on "how I feel" when I'm with my Savior. If I'm with Him, then what am I lacking? Certainly not encouragement! In fact, I'm lacking nothing!