That's Not Me!

I've been paid quite a few complements lately, and it's not really all that easy to accept them! I mean, I want to be gracious and not argue with people when they complement me. I want to accept those complements. The problem is that I have trouble seeing the truth in them.

Let me just give you a few examples. I've been told by several people that I'm so organized. I can see where they get the idea. I menu plan, for one thing. Doug and I sit down once a month and plan out a month's worth of meals (this last time it was actually six weeks!!!). Why? Well, for one thing, it helps our grocery budget since we get what we know we'll need instead of a bunch of groceries that we may or may not use. Secondly, I am horrible at trying to pick out what to eat for dinner. It stresses me to no end! This way the decision is made for me. Practical, and oh, so very helpful! I also have a daily schedule. Having an expected routine reduces fighting among the kids and motivates me to focus on the bigger picture instead of focusing exclusively on one or two things and letting other things fall apart. It's just a necessity, especially with homeschooling. Do I always stick to the schedule? No! But, I have it to be a general guide. Oh, and then there's the simple fact that I homeschool, and many moms still believe that you have to be perfectly organized to homeschool. That's a funny one! :-)

But, when people tell me I'm organized, I don't see the above things - they are just my keys to survival, not my indicators of organization. Instead I see the clutter scattered through my house that seems to never go away. I see the list of things I'm falling behind on. I see the missed quiet times and the list of things I've forgotten to do. Organized? That's a laugh!

Then Doug told me last night that someone was complementing my parental patience with Steven. (He was wanting to be carried, and I was telling him no - I gave him my hand. He's just too big to carry, and it's more of a habit than a need at this point!) First of all, I was delighted that someone saw that as positive parenting - I have been criticized for that kind of parenting before. But then I saw myself this morning. This morning was not pretty, and I was anything but patient! I lost my temper, I yelled, I nagged. Maybe I had a patient moment the other night, but a patient parent? I just don't know about that one.

I see myself. I see my own heart. I see what's in it. It's just not what people think it is. There's so much more I need to change. So, how can I possibly accept the complements?

David was a man after God's own heart, and an adulterous murderer. Paul was an amazing missionary who seemed to have it all figured out, but he called himself the most wretched of sinners and openly shared the battle of sin raging within him. Abraham's faith is praised in Scripture, yet he played the coward not once but twice saying that his wife was his sister in order to save his own skin. Peter received incredible wisdom and insight regarding his Savior straight from the Father, yet he denied and abandoned Jesus on the night of His death. We look at all of these men and see examples of what we want to imitate. But, can you imagine how they felt about their faults sometimes?

I am human, and I make mistakes. I struggle, I falter. But, I do have Christ living within me! And His goal is to make me more like Him. His goal is to make sure people see Him when they look at me. Those complements really have nothing to do with me. They are not because of me. I'm not any of those things they claim I am. No, anything good I do is because Jesus is shining through. Wow! Now THAT is encouragement! If people look at me and see characterisitcs they admire and desire, I can tell them exactly how to become just like me. Why? Because I'm not like me - I'm like Jesus. And, with His help and His presence, ANYONE can be like Him, too!