Saturday, November 1, 2008

Earnestly Desiring Him

As the Lord was laying today's challenge on my heart, He gave me an example to mull over - as He often does. That's just the way I learn. As many of you know, we have a lot of cats right now. Seven, to be exact. (Please, take one! We'll find a way to get it to you!) This morning I was focused on three in particular and their interest in being loved.

Smokey is the mama cat. She likes attention, but she's never really and truly been a lap cat. She just wants to lie on the couch and be loved on for a moment until she moves on to the next phase of her day. She wants the love and attention as it fits with her mood and schedule. Before her kittens disrupted the normalcy of her life and hormones, she even had specific times she came for love and attention. The one time she would desire to be in someone's lap was when Doug sat down at the computer. For some reason, that was her signal for lap time. At bedtime, she would wait until I was thoroughly settled and then she would come and curl up beside me.

Most of us are like Smokey. People like Smokey really do want the attention and love of the Lord. When they are in church, they truly want to see Him move. They have times when they are supposed to be in His presence, and in those times, they will seek Him actively. But, the rest of their lives are pretty separate from actively pursuing His presence. If He comes pursuing, they will stop for a moment and receive what He has to give, but they're usually in a hurry to get on with the next step of their day - and not really choosing to give anything to Him in those times.

Then there's Wesley - one of our nine week old kittens. Sweet Wesley loves to romp and play, but we will regularly hear a persistent meowing at our feet as he attempts to communicate to us that he's ready for some attention. Wesley loves to be held. If we don't respond to him quickly enough, he will begin to climb our pant legs! He will find a way to be near us.

Only some of us are like Wesley. People like Wesley long to be in the presence of the Lord. They are willing to go through their day doing what He has called them to do, but they really and truly want to be constantly in His presence. He is a part of every portion of their lives. It's not just about those planned times of being near Him - it's about knowing that at any time His arms can be found. At any time He can hear the voices of His children.

You might think I haven't left a category for a third cat, but there is a third. I wouldn't have thought of it until this morning as I watched little Vizzini, another one of our kittens. Vizzini is quite precious. He can get into the mix with the best of them, but he has turned out to be much smaller than the others. We aren't sure if he's just of a smaller build or if the others are bullying him away from food right now, but he's definitely is smaller.

Last night we came home from a church activity to find that he wasn't walking right. His lower back or hips had been injured somehow, causing his hind legs to not function properly. It was obviously painful for him to walk, and the best position for him to be in was in a crouch with his hips swung slightly outward. Through the course of the evening his hips seemed to be able to return to more of a normal stance, but he still didn't walk much, and when he did it was in such a crouching position that we could barely see open space between his belly and the floor. Then he would rest in his crouching position, not lying down or moving very quickly at all. (An aside on this - he does seem to be better this morning, still walking painfully and slowly, but in a more normal position, and being able to curl up in a ball to rest instead of simply remaining crouched. We're hoping and praying it's a sign of improvement as we watch him over the coming days.)

The most fascinating thing of all, though, has been his desire for us. When left alone or across the room from us, he hasn't moved at all. But, as soon as we come near enough to him to show an interest in him, he has done everything possible to get to us. And once he has gotten to us, he has not waited for us to pick him up - he has proceeded to crawl, no matter how painfully, into our laps to receive our loving attention. At all cost, he wants our attention.

I think you get the picture of what it's like to be a Vizzini. It's not just a matter of living in God's presence - it's a matter of getting to that point no matter what. It's a matter of putting everything - good or bad - aside just to be in the will, arms, and presence of our incredible Savior. That's what I think it means to seek Him with our whole hearts. That's the picture of craving His love and attention in all things. That's where I want to be - putting all else aside to be with Him. My joys and sorrows, my health and pains, my good and bad - all need to be put aside to seek Him. Just to be in His arms. Just to hear His voice and follow it, no matter what.

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