Balancing

Obviously, I’ve been a little silent on the blog this week.  Both thoughts posts and challenges have seemed to be lacking.  It hasn’t been that I haven’t had anything to write – I’ve just not had the opportunity to write.

Or is it that I’ve not made the opportunity?

That thought hit me last night as I came to the end of my day. As I looked back over all I had gotten accomplished, I realized I’d continually pushed down the things I really wanted to do in favor of the things that I felt needed to be done.  It left me frustrated and discouraged. 

I have a tendency to think that if I like to do it, it’s selfish.  So, I put everything else before what I enjoy.  But, the truth is that those things I enjoy are things God instilled in me.  For example, I love to write.  Love it!  The more I have grown in Christ, the more I have come to love it.  He has grown and nurtured that passion – and He has confirmed it in me through others.  So, why do I feel like I have to push that down to the bottom of the list?  Why do I feel like I’m being selfish if I spend time writing?

When I live my life by a to-do list of obligations, I never fully accomplish those obligations.  The kitchen will always be messy.  Some room in the house will always need to be cleaned and organized.  I will always move things like writing to the bottom of the list because the other things will never be done.

Now, please know that I’m not endorsing living in a pig sty of a house surrounded by neglected husband and children so that I can live my whole day sitting in front of the computer happily writing away.  That’s not the point here.

The point is this – I have certain passions.  I love to write, sew, read, and create.  I can’t get away from writing without being reminded from some source that I need to get back to it.  When I pray about gifts to give to others, the ideas that flood my mind always seem to come back to things I can sew or create.  Reading continually grows and challenges me.  These are all part of who I am.  Who God has made me to be!  How much of what God wants to do through me am I suffocating because I consider these selfish ways to spend my time and push them to the bottom of the list?

There is always a balance in such things, and I have not been balanced.  It’s okay to do some of the things I love to do.  In fact, sometimes I have a passion to do those things because they are what God is leading me to do as I seek to honor Him! 

Here’s to learning that balance!