Friendships

You know how I shared with you not too long ago about those pesky friendships that I just wasn't sure I wanted to delve into? Yeah, well, God keeps confirming them!

A little more insight into me...I'm considered a friendly person. Many people consider me their friend - and I them - but we wouldn't necessarily intentionally get together. Our families wouldn't hang out; we wouldn't call each other in emergencies; we never keep each other's kids. But, in our "together" environment, whether it be work or church or whatever, we get along great. I hate to call those simple acquaintances because they're more than that, but once we depart company in external circumstances, that's it. We don't keep in touch or get back together. Those are really my easiest friendships - the ones that take a natural level of investment and are in my life for a season. If we were to ever run into each other again, I'm sure we'd enjoy it, but if we don't I easily just treasure the time we did have and move to the next season.

True, deeper friendships, though have the potential to be hard for me. I'm not good at starting those friendships. First impressions don't always click between me and other people. In fact, as some of you are reading this, you're agreeing with me - I know because we've talked about it!! Typically there is some catalyst - some event, conversation, something that clicks as if to say, "Hey, we do have something in common!" After that catalyst, we find more and more things in common and the friendship blossoms. In fact, some of my closest friendships - friendships with many of you - have developed that way, and I am so thankful for them! As we have looked back on how we met, it's sometimes hard to imagine that we didn't always just click; that it actually took a bit of work to get to know each other. But, that's just the way it is with me.

Despite the fact that most friendships have to be jump-started for me, there are very rarely those situations where all it takes is meeting and the friendship is there. Ready-made. We say, "Hi!" and that's it - we're connected. Like I said, those are VERY rare for me. It's not that those friends are closer friends than the ones that required that catalyst - it's that those are friendships that I couldn't get away from if I wanted to.

To be honest, you know from what I shared before (see "I Forgot" - March 26) that I have been questioning the idea of new friendships right now anyway. I didn't want to delve in only to leave - I've had a hard enough time with the goodbyes I've already had to say and the ones I will be saying when we leave MDO. But, I've surrendered myself to hanging out with these new ladies and their families. (Doug is even going out with the guys! I'm delighted!) The problem is that from that first Monday night when we were visited by the trio from Carriage Hills Baptist Church after we attended Easter Sunday, there was that immediate connection with one of the ladies. We just clicked, and it has grown and developed so easily. A conversation we had today showed me that this is definitely of the Lord because SHE doesn't click with people either! I admitted to her that I'm scared. I don't want to get close and then leave. I have parted from several very intimate friendships lately - friendships that are separated by miles. I know the friendships continue, but I need a local one! I am not really enthusiastic about the idea of setting up another long-distance relationship. But, I can't help but be excited about the thought of this friendship in front of me.

So, there's the update on the prayer request from last month. Still struggling. Still frightened. Still questioning what the Lord is doing. But, going forward anyway. I wish I could say I was going forward with reckless abandon, but I'm just not there yet. But I am going forward. I am taking what God's giving me today and I'm going with it. I'm not letting my uncertainties about tomorrow stop me. I can't say I don't let them worry me, because I still struggle with that here and there - good days and bad. But, I'm going forward. Praise the Lord, He's helping me go forward!