Just Write

Remember the old Nike “Just Do It!” slogan? That’s how I’m feeling today. “Just write it, Ann!”

But what do I write?

I don’t care…just write. Every day.

It’s one of those disciplines. I’d say it’s like exercising, because I want the results of working those writing muscles just like I want the results of working the physical muscles.

But really, it’s more like practicing an instrument. You always know how to do it, but you get rusty when you don’t do it daily. And you miss its impact on your life. The calming influence it has. The connection it provides with your Creator.

Do you get what I mean?

When I was growing up, I could always tell when my dad had not had a chance to build something. He loves to work with wood. It’s his outlet. And when he goes a while without the chance to create something with his hands, it shows. His creativity, energy, and joy all wane.

I see the same with my husband and teaching. If he gets so buried in the administrative side of pastoring that he doesn’t have a chance to truly teach – an interactive type of teaching – his joy in ministry fades. He also enjoys writing and gets discouraged when he doesn’t have the opportunity to write. Then there’s cooking. And oh, is he ever good at cooking. He’s not the only one who misses it when he doesn’t have the chance to cook! 

If my oldest doesn’t get to play the piano or write, it shows.

If my middle child doesn’t get to draw, sew, or do needlework in some shape form or fashion, it shows.

If my youngest doesn’t get to create from paper or Legos or some other medium, it shows.

All of these things require regular practice to maintain – and progress – in the skills. But, they also provide a sort of natural therapy. They are an avenue of connection with the Creator who gave us these skills and desires. And I can’t help but think that we are disobedient if we don’t utilize and hone these skills while also embracing the doors they open in our hearts.

Yet how often do we consider ourselves selfish for setting aside the time to daily practice? We forget that through them we are actually connecting with our Creator, refreshing ourselves,  strengthening our talents, and equipping ourselves to truly minister.

What do you need to buckle down and do today?

My Way is Okay

I believe I’ve mentioned once or twice that I am a tiny bit OCD. I have never been extreme, but I do like the bed to be made a certain way. I like the dishwasher to be organized to maximize efficiency. I like pictures to be straight on the walls, cans to be lined up in the cabinets (although they don’t have to all have the labels facing the same direction), and some symmetry to exist in furniture placement.

My husband, on the other hand, doesn’t even notice many of these things. He is so observant when it comes to the needs of others. He can pick up on gaps in information or read between the lines in ways my brain cannot even begin to process. But, a wrinkle in the bedspread, towels or clothes folded in haphazards manners, or a streak on the windshield does not even merit a second glance.

I decided long ago that my OCD needed to take a chill pill, and I needed to be okay with the imperfections that might typically drive me nuts. It is really okay. Really, really.

But, I missed one important fact when I decided to reign in my perfectionism. I forgot that God made me that way. I forgot that it is part of who I am. And I forgot that it is not all bad. I allowed myself to feel embarrassed because I do like things to be just so. And I would try my hardest to ignore things instead of fixing them.

Getting over my obsessions is a good thing, especially if it means that my husband does not feel constantly criticized because he doesn’t do things “my way.” But, if I stifle who God created me to be, there is no way I can truly walk in the Spirit, exhibiting His fruit in my life, and allowing Him to use me to the fullest.

And I also cannot be the wife He created me to be.

Now, let’s turn this around a little bit and consider our spouses. Who has God made them to be? What are their natural tendencies? What do we stifle in their personalities by simply making their way of doing things seem inferior to ours? How often do we complain instead of rejoicing over the fact that they see the world a little differently?

Better yet, let’s consider this: How can we encourage our spouses today to be who God made them to be? How can we express ourselves and our own personality quirks without demeaning our spouses? How can we both bend a little to come together even in our differences? And, most importantly, how can we use our differences to work together for the glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

We are different by design. But, God created us to be compatible in our differences. He did not join us together with our spouses with the idea of one personality changing to be like the other. He intended for us to meld our unique characteristics into one new creature.

And that, my friends, is why my way really is okay. And so is his.

Paying Attention to the Hordes

Not too long ago, I awoke to legs that itched horribly. They were covered in more mosquito bites than I’d had in a very long time. I couldn’t even remember how I got them. I don’t recall being surrounded by a swarm or batting away while they bit. Yet, there were the bites.

The funny thing about this is that we had just moved from mosquito country. I cannot describe how many mosquitoes there are in Almyra. Most people don’t believe the stories unless they have been there. It’s not just a dawn and dusk thing. It’s all day and night. Garages filled with thousands of mosquitoes (we had two ceiling fans and two floor fans running constantly in our garage just so we could get in and out of our vehicles). Doors entirely unusable if there wasn’t something rigged to repel the pesky bugs. Fat frogs everywhere.

The thing about living in the middle of mosquito country, though, is that we were constantly aware of the threat. We actively fought mosquitoes daily.

Now, though, we’re in a new location. The mosquitoes aren’t nearly as bad. They don’t visibly swarm us. They don’t cover our windows or swarm our garage. So, it becomes easy to forget about them until it’s too late and we are covered with bites.

Spiritual struggles are often like the mosquito contrast. When we’re constantly and heavily hammered by temptations, struggles, or challenges, we build our big fortresses against those difficulties. We are on guard. Fighting becomes the norm, and our senses are aware. As a result, the casualties are few.

But when the issues are mild, we often forget to build our defenses until after we face the consequences of an attack. We wake up one morning to find ourselves beaten down in failure or overwhelmed by the consequences of sin. We are more miserable than we ever had been when surrounded by struggles.

One evidence of spiritual growth is an increase in our vigilance no matter what surrounds us. We actively and intentionally center our energy on Christ at all times, not just in the tough times. The result is that our guard is always high, whether the threat is great or small.

I’m learning to be more attentive to the occasional mosquito now that the hordes are gone. I haven’t had a massive outbreak of bites since that morning. I pray my spiritual life is growing even more profoundly, whether the challenge is great or small.

I Love Your Home

Most of you are probably looking at the title and thinking, “But you’ve never seen my home!” And you’re right. I haven’t. But I love it. Why? Because it’s part of you. It reflects your personality and passions in so many ways.

I used to be ashamed of my home. I’m not a great housekeeper, and I can’t really decorate. If you walk into my home at any given time, there will be clutter. Despite my love for organization, my house will be unorganized. You might arrive on a day when the bathrooms have been cleaned recently or the trash cans emptied. But, it might also have been a few days since either was done. And the fact that housework gets done at all is a testimony to the willingness of my children to participate in household chores.

So, for those who love a spic and span, well-organized house, I’ll give you fair warning: You won’t find that within these doors. But, you’re welcome anyway, because it would give you a chance to get to know my family a little better as you walk in and see the combination of our personalities poured into our living space.

That’s what I’d find in your home, too, isn’t it - personality reflected in your space? And that, my friend, is why I love your home, even if I’ve never seen it.

Recently, my family joined hundreds of other Arkansans for a one-day mission trip to southwest Arkansas. The girls and I, joined by three others, spent four and a half hours prayer walking one portion of Arkadelphia. The thing that stood out to me the most was how closed up all of the houses were. Closed windows. No screen doors - just closed, solid doors. Closed garages, even when the occupants were home. Back yards closed off by privacy fences, such that even if the residents were playing together in the back yard, it was impossible to see.

It brought me face to face with the reality of our culture today: So many of us rarely see the inside of one another’s homes. We rarely get the chance to know one another on that level. And I am as guilty of that as the next person. I live much of my life behind closed doors as well. Although I’m always happy to welcome others into my home, I don’t go out of my way to make sure they know my home is open.

Because our homes reflect our personalities, our closed homes reflect our tendency to close ourselves off from one another. We hole up inside ourselves and hide what we consider to be a mess. We don’t want others to see our clutter - whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. We want to be particular about what we share.

Honestly, as an introvert, it makes me a bit nervous to think of living with an open home, because I need my protected space. And, there will be times when I must close my doors and focus on just my family. But, I want to be more open. I want to welcome others in more readily. I want others to see the real me.

And I want you to know that I love the real you. Yes, I really do love your home!

Marriage Monday: A Servant’s Attitude

This month in Sunday school, the youth girls at our church are walking through the fruit of the Spirit. In preparation for each lesson, I’ve looked back at Elizabeth George’s book God’s Garden of Grace. I love the way she sees the fruit of the Spirit as three “categories” of growth in grace. Love, joy, and peace represent growth in the attitudes of grace. Patience, kindness, and goodness are the actions of grace. Finally, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control represent the application of grace.

This past week, we discussed the action trio in class, reviewing also the reminder that the attitudes have to be in place first. There is no action if our attitudes are not full of grace!

How often do I ponder that truth in my marriage?

My husband and I are frequently doing for one another. It’s a part of marriage. But what is behind our acts of service to one another? Are the actions habitual or intentional? Are they duty or delight? Are they obligatory or flowing from a peaceful heart of love and joy?

I love my husband dearly, and I really do love doing for him. But, so often I do not apply the attitude of that love to the day-in, day-out living of life. I don’t always approach walking through our morning routine as an outflow of patience, kindness, and goodness. I separate preparing lunch and caring for the normal routine of the home from the spiritual dynamics of our relationship.

But it’s all part of my service to my husband. And it all must be rooted in the Holy Spirit’s work in my life. Yes, even the most mundane, routine service. Even those acts must reflect the Spirit’s faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

My goal this morning was to start the day with that perspective, getting my attitude in place even when I did not want to get up, then letting my actions follow through. And it’s been a really good morning - not just in routine flow, but in our hearts as well. We both noticed it.

How can the fruit of the Spirit shine forth in your marriage this week?

Able To Aid

Some mornings as I sit down to process through my readings, I get sidetracked. This form of sidetracking isn’t by glancing at e-mails or Facebook, texting with a friend, or anything like that (although I confess that does happen far too often). In this particular instance, I’m referring to getting sidetracked by a verse that isn’t really part of the “point” for the day.

Then again, maybe it is. God has a funny way of doing that.

This week, the distraction was a passing devotional reference to a verse in Hebrews. It’s easy for me to get lazy and just ignore passing references like that, so years ago I determined to be intentional about looking up those references every time. Here’s what I read when I looked up this particular verse:

For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted. Hebrews 2:18 NASB (emphasis mine)

As I read these verses, I realized that I’ve always had an incomplete foundation when it comes to temptation. Had I ever stopped to process my understanding of how we are to biblically handle temptation, I would have realized that my foundation lacked something. But, until this week, I never gave it a second thought.

Here’s the foundation I’ve always had:

• James 1 teaches that temptation is not of God, and I must flee it.
• 1 Corinthians 10:13 shows me that God will provide a way of escape from temptation.
• I still fall to temptation, but the blood of Jesus covers me, and I can come before Him in repentance and receive forgiveness even when I do not take the way of escape.

But, looking at Hebrews 2, there’s something else I was missing. Another crucial truth: I don’t have to run away on my own strength. I don’t have to find the escape with my own clouded vision. Jesus is able (and therefore willing) to come to my aid!

That is so logical. It’s so clear. It’s nothing really new. Yet, how often do I act on it?

I confess, often when I’m struggling against temptation, I feel too weak to even look for the way of escape. But my precious Savior has not left me to do it on my own. He is ready and able to help. I just have to call on Him.

He is my way of escape.

We cannot fight temptation on our own. We do not have the strength. (If we did, we wouldn’t need Christ’s salvation.) Only with the Spirit living within us can we walk through the escape provided. But in the ugliness of our temptation, we don’t feel able or worthy or permitted to call upon the purity that is Jesus Christ.

But oh how opposite from truth that is!

No, we’re not worthy. But even at our best we lack worth. And able? It only takes a plea for help! Oh, and the most glorious part is that we’re not only permitted, we’re invited. Welcomed. Encouraged. Admonished. Instructed. Commanded, even, to call upon Jesus.

And how do we remember that in the throes of temptation? How do we fight the darkness enough to convince ourselves that we can call upon Jesus for aid? By memorizing this verse now (and maybe a few around it - the whole context is powerful!), putting it in our arsenal so the Spirit can bring it to our minds in the moment of weakness.

He is able to come to my aid. Oh what a glorious truth!

A Light to My Path

How many of us memorized Psalm 119:105 as children?

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

I can hear the lessons that go along with it, too. “Remember children, if you follow God’s Word, your path will always be lit.”

Yet, as with many verses we snag and cling to, it’s so easy to miss the bigger context. Even though context has been drilled into my head, I still make that mistake. I jump on the familiar and miss the fullness of what’s being said.

It’s especially easy to do that with Psalm 119 because it’s a long chapter with so many great nuggets. But this psalm - actually one of my all-time favorites - is more than just a long chapter full of one-liners. In reality, Psalm 119 is a Hebrew acrostic celebrating Scripture.

Have you ever noticed the little heading above each section? Headings like “aleph” and “beth” - all the way through to “tav” at the end. Those are the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Each of the eight-verse sections, when read in Hebrew, starts with a different letter of the alphabet. Each line in that section starts with the same letter. So, Psalm 119 is a poem celebrating God’s word - a beautiful poem with twenty-two stanzas.

Recently, I read back through this psalm again, two or three section a day. This slow reading forced me, once again, to ponder the relationship between the lines - the connection and flow of the poem. Psalm 119:105, for instance, is the first verse of the “nun” stanza. This verse ties in with the next seven verses to create a single train of thought regarding Scripture.

105 Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.
106 I have sworn and I will confirm it,
That I will keep Your righteous ordinances.
107 I am exceedingly afflicted;
Revive me, O Lord, according to Your word.
108 O accept the freewill offerings of my mouth, O Lord,
And teach me Your ordinances.
109 My life is continually in my hand,
Yet I do not forget Your law.
110 The wicked have laid a snare for me,
Yet I have not gone astray from Your precepts.
111 I have inherited Your testimonies forever,
For they are the joy of my heart.
112 I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes
Forever, even to the end.

Can you see the image of a heavily burdened child of God as you read these verses? He’s attacked and overwhelmed by enemies. But, God’s word alone keeps him on the path. God’s word strengthens his heart. God’s word prevents him from allowing his troubles to derail him.

When I consider verse 105 in this context, I realize that it does not say that God’s word is a lamp to our feet on a well-trodden, familiar path that just looks a little strange in the half-light of dusk.

No, this is a completely strange path. Our feet have never been here before. They have no idea what to anticipate with the very next step. Will they land in safety? Or is there a trap? Will we trip on something? Or will be continue on with solid footing?

Oh, and it’s dark all around us. So very dark. The only true light we have is from God’s word. Period.

But here’s the best part: God’s word is enough. More than enough, in fact. His word is the only light we need to keep us from going astray from His precepts.

May we never stop with our childhood memories of well-known Scripture. May we instead dig ever deeper, discovering the power of gems like Psalm 119:105.

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Going On

We’ve all heard the stories of the church growing dramatically. Sometimes the growth results from gospel being heard for the first time. Other growth comes in response to persecution. Still other growth begins when hearts that have been simply going through the motions are suddenly revived.

I love hearing - and experiencing - any such growth stories. But, my favorite stories remain the earliest ones. The biblical ones. Like this one:

So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace, being built up; and going on in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, it continued to increase. Acts 9:31 NASB

Do you see the amazing information packed into this verse?

1. The church enjoyed peace.
   
   This was really the first time of peace for the church. It started under mild persecution, as the Apostles were threatened by the Jewish leaders who thought their problems had ended when they got rid of Jesus. Surprise!
   
   For the most part, though, it seems as if the persecution relaxed a bit and preaching, teaching, meeting, and growing occurred without too many issues. But, if you’ve ever been in a growing church, you know there are other issues. Internal issues. Growing pains. We see a glimpse of these issues in the argument between the Hellenistic and Jewish widows. I have a feeling that was not the only growing pain.
   
   Then came the massive persecution at the hands of Saul following Stephen’s martyrdom. The believers were scattered, and the gospel spread.
   
   Only after Saul traveled that life-changing Damascus road did peace come.
   
2. Being built up.
   
   Consider the beginning of the chapter. Saul was trying to tear down the church. Now, the threat from Saul is gone, and it seems like the rest of the Jews have lost their steam - or that they’re more focused on Saul than the whole church.
   
   So, what once was being torn down is now being built up. It is interesting to note that this verb refers not to something that the church was accomplishing on their own. They were not building themselves up, but were being built up. The action of the Lord Himself accomplished this growth. He’d established His church in challenge. Now He was growing His church in peace. He acted. They received.
   
   
3. And going on.
   
   This is the one I really love. The church went on, acting on what they’d learned in the time of challenge.
   
   So often, we see the opposite in the lives of individual Christians and churches as a whole. We band together and lean on Christ in the challenge, but when the peace comes, we relax. We separate. We do not go on, persisting in the foundation established during the challenge. Instead, we act as if those foundational behaviors are only for the times of challenge, waiting for us to return to if the need arises.
   
   But the early church had no concept of that. Perhaps it was a side effect of being established in challenge. They knew nothing else. So, they continued in what they knew, and they “continued to increase” because of it.

We often discuss emulating the early church in order to be truly biblical in our methods. I think right here is the first place we need to look. We need to choose to go on “in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit,” no matter what our circumstances.

Then, my friends - oh, then! - let’s just hang on. Because the growth will truly be glorious!

Choosing Our Light

This morning, we awoke to a bright, cloudless sky. Our home has many windows that let in the bright sunshine on clear days, so on days like this we frequently don’t even have to turn on interior lights. The sunshine streaming in through the windows might not be as bright and strong as our electric lights, but it’s sufficient.

This afternoon, clouds are moving in ahead of anticipated weekend storms. As the clouds build, we alternate between bright sunshine and darkening shade. In some rooms, we’re turning on lights to counteract the game of peekaboo the sun seems to be playing.

When a storm system actually arrives, though, I expect a very different story. The front will solidly entrench itself, and heavy storm clouds will block the sun. In our home, we’ll have to use the lights that do not receive much use during a sunny stretch.

For so long, Christians in the United States have lived much as we do in our home. We’ve been content with the light of the cloudless or partly cloudy skies of morality, rarely seeing the need to turn on our lights of Christ-likeness. Why? Because we mistakenly equate Christianity and morality, thinking the light of morality is enough.

Clouds of trouble do cover the sun briefly, and we turn on our lights for a while, taking a stand for godliness. But, because the storm has not yet arrived in all of its ferocity, we inevitably turn off our lights of godliness when the sun of morality emerges from the clouds again.

Recently, the Supreme Court handed down a decision that has once again blocked the light of morality. While many Christians are in full-fledged panic mode over this decision, the reality is that this is just another bout of cloudiness - maybe even a thunder-shower - ahead of the real storm front.

But, what if we as Christians responded to this shower differently? What if we chose to turn on our lights of godliness once and for all? What if we decided to stop relying on the intermittent light of morality and made a move to operate instead in the consistent and full light of godliness?

It’s a frightening thought for American Christians, to be honest. Such an action would mark us even more profoundly than morality ever did, perhaps even expediting our progress toward persecution.

But, it would also establish us firmly in a light that can never be dimmed.

The light of morality, grounded in a false belief that man is inherently good, was destined to be extinguished. Scripture reminds us that all goodness is bound up in Christ - man is sinful, not good. Without Christ, even the most moral of Americans will eventually bow to the lie of equality.

Do I like the decision that was handed down by the Supreme Court? No. Has it robbed reason to rejoice? Again, no. On the contrary, it has actually given me reason to rejoice. Why? Because now a few more Christians will choose to move from the fading light of morality into the never-failing light of godliness. They will grow closer to Christ through it. They will become stronger witnesses for Him because of it. And more of the lost and dying in this world will come to saving faith as a result of it.

And that, my friends, is why I rejoice, even in the face of those inevitable storm clouds.

What Works for Me: Something Normal

Chaos comes in so many forms. Disrupted schedule. Illness. Trips. Major events. And, for my family of late, moving.

One thing I’ve noticed about chaos is that it leaves us feeling like we have to tackle the big in-your-face obstacles before being able to devote any time and energy to the little normalcies of life. At least, that’s how I feel.

In this move, I’ve felt driven to attack the big things. The packing and cleaning. Now the unpacking and setting up. And, specifically, tackling the big unpacking. Those things that make the biggest dent in the chaos. The little things – those little normalcies of life – seem to get pushed aside. I’ll get to those when these big glaring boxes are taken care of.

And all the while, the chaos chips away at my peace.

This morning, I realized something. Sometimes, taking the time to go ahead and welcome even just one of those little normalcies back into my life makes the big chaos less disruptive. So, today, I have embraced a few normalcies.

1. Writing. This is my second blog post of the day – one for the family blog and one for here. I’ve put writing on the shelf for a long time because of chaos. First, it was the busyness of a particular season. Then it was a major project that took a great deal of time and energy. And now the move. There is always going to be something disruptive. If I allow one bit of chaos to chip away at my writing time, I will never come back to it. So, I’m coming back to it now. Today. Yes, before I even have any idea where my desk will go.
2. Calendar. I was in the middle of unpacking boxes when the thought of our big, dry-erase family calendar came to mind. It’s one of those things that typically would be saved until last. It’s not critical, because we keep up with crucial events elsewhere. But, it’s something homey. It’s something we enjoy having. So, I stopped what I was doing and went to hunt down that calendar. It is now on the wall, ready to welcome the activities of our new life, church, and community. Yay!
3. Play & Snuggles. We have been on tight deadlines for several weeks now, and our moments of snuggles and play have been far too brief. We’re all taking turns with bouts of tearful homesickness for the loved ones and home we left behind. This morning, each of my girls had a turn, and they needed snuggles. We curled up on the couch and cried and chatted – for as long as it took. No rushing back to HEDUA work or cutting the snuggles short so I could dive into another box. Just snuggles.
   
   Then my oldest and I took a few minutes to shop on Amazon for something she wanted to buy with birthday money.
   
   This afternoon, my son and I will play together for a little while before I have to get back to either HEDUA work or unpacking. It’s a normalcy. And it can’t wait for the boxes to be unpacked.

As the week continues, I will choose to embrace little moments of normalcy. I will take the time to unpack those things that could wait until later, but would help us feel more at home were I to go ahead and pull them out now. And I will chip away at the chaos by settling in to just living life.

How do you keep your chaos from taking over?

My Certainty

Uncertainty. Don’t you just love it. Never knowing what’s around the next bend? Not being able to plan and anticipate?

Okay, if that excited you and made you say, “Yes! I do love it!” then I will go ahead and admit something right now - I don’t understand you. I may still love you, and I will probably try to draw on your strength and excitement when I’m overwhelmed by uncertainty. But I just cannot understand you.

No, I do not always have to have all of the answers, nor do I insist on a crystal clear path at all times. Admittedly, surprises are fun, and the unexpected keeps life interesting and exciting. But that’s not the same as uncertainty.

Uncertainty is knowing that there is something around the corner - and possibly even knowing what it is - but not really being able to predict how it will impact life. If I know that something uncertain is ahead of me, I want to at least have the chance to do something productive to prepare for the uncertainty.

It’s like knowing that tornado season is coming around. I’m an Arkansan, which means tornado season is a given. I do not know when storms will come, but I know they will. And although I cannot guarantee my family’s safety during a tornado, I can do practical, productive things to prepare. I can make sure that we all know where to go to take cover quickly and smoothly. I can make sure necessities are easy to grab. I can prepare.

The problem comes when I see uncertainty on the horizon and cannot do a thing about it. I can’t prepare. I can’t plan. I can only wait. Wait in the uncertainty.

That’s exactly where the Lord puts me from time to time. Why? Because I’m finding my certainty in activity. In preparation. In doing something. What does He want instead?

He wants to be my certainty.

Oswald Chambers says it quite well in My Utmost from His Highest.

Certainty is the mark of a common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways…

Ouch. I tried to argue with that rationale this week. I hoped that I could look at 1 John 3:2, the focal verse for the devotional, and determine that Chambers was out of context with his deductions. But no, he wasn’t. And I was stuck.

I had been living a common-sense life. The Lord was - and is - calling me to a life filled with Him. A life in which my only certainty is Himself. Not circumstances. Not preparation. Not clear answers or firm direction.

Just Himself.

Where is your certainty today? If it is anywhere but in Christ Himself, He will push you into circumstances that challenge your common-sense life. And it hurts. But it’s worth it.

Will you join me in “gracious uncertainty”? Together, let’s make our Lord and Savior our only certainty.

Total Rest

Here is the final post in my four-part Rest series, originally published in Arkansas Baptist News.

A new year has arrived, bringing with it a slower pace of life. But to get here, I had to survive a typical fall in the Hibbard household. Every year the stretch between the end of October through the end of December is a very busy time for us. This year was no exception.

But right in the middle of the busyness, God reinforced His lesson on rest. Oh, He had already given me the idea. I had even journaled it months before. But, it wasn’t until I had come to the end of a very rough week that He reminded me of one more truth He had taught me about rest.

Rest is not just relational, expected, and sacrificial. Rest is also total trust.

In all honesty, I had been trying to rest in the midst of the chaos. But, I did it my way. I allotted time to attend Christmas parties and enjoy the fellowship. I sacrificially set aside my todo list on multiple occasions, supposedly in the name of rest. But I forgot that all of these things must be bound together by a conscious focus on total obedience.

You see, rest is not just about coming up with ways to interact with others, to meet an expectation, or to sacrifice when an opportunity seems to arise. Rest is about walking in complete trust and obedience, allowing God to handle every single detail, every single time.

When I tried to do life, whether work or rest, my way, I fell apart. I failed. My todo list backed up and my relationships became strained. I neglected to fulfill obligations, and no amount of time set aside for rest seemed to rejuvenate me.

I did not find real rest again until I stepped back to see how I had failed to trust and obey the Lord. Rest returned only when I actively and consciously began to walk once again in total surrender.

Now we face a new year. If it moves even half as quickly as 2014 did, many of us will once again come to the end of it feeling harried and tired. But God offers the rest we need to make 2015 a year of complete abandon to Him. Complete obedience. Complete trust. And complete rest.

I am not one for New Year’s resolutions, but I do hunger to make a new commitment this year. I hunger to live this year centered in the total rest of Christ.

Will you join me?

Sacrificial Rest

This week I'm sharing part three of my Rest series, originally published in Arkansas Baptist News. I wrote this as the busyness of Thanksgiving and Christmas were descending upon me. But, in all honesty, the last two months have been no less crazy. I definitely needed this reminder to glorify God sacrificially, even in those times when all I can think of is my need for rest!

The holiday season is upon us! As an introverted homebody, sometimes the busyness of this season throws me for a loop. I do love it. I love the decorations and the celebrations. I enjoy the parties and the events, even if I sometimes have to pry myself out of the warm house to attend them.

But I also need rest. And I am not quite sure I like the next lesson God has been teaching me about rest. You see, in addition to learning that rest is relational and expected, I am also learning that rest is sacrificial.

I have always been pretty selfish about rest. My opinion has always been that I need it, and I need it my way, or it doesn’t count. But when my husband and I had a conversation about a couple of passages of Scripture, I found my selfishness challenged.

In Acts 16:13, we see Paul heading down to the riverside in hopes of meeting people gathered there to pray. I have never though much about that action until Doug made a thought-provoking observation. He pointed out that Paul’s trip outside the city on the Sabbath was a sacrificial act. It was outside his norm. It was outside the parameters of rest he had been taught during his formative years.

Paul made a sacrifice.

So, where was he when he made this sacrifice? He was in Philippi. He was making the contacts that would eventually result in the Philippian church. The same Philippian church that brought him incredible joy, according to verses like Philippians 1:3. In fact, it could be argued from Scripture that this particular church provided Paul’s greatest source of strength and encouragement.

But it all started with a sacrifice.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 3:13. I have always loved the idea of encouragement among believers. But, as I look at Paul’s sacrificial investment in the Philippian church - and the return it brought - I see Hebrews 3:13 in a new light. I see that we receive our greatest encouragement, strength, and support when we are willing to sacrifice for one another, even in rest.

Now, sacrificial rest does require care because it still must be rest. It cannot become just another source of busyness. But, what would happen if we were willing to put aside our selfish conceptions of rest and determine instead to rest in fellowship with our fellow believers?

As the busy schedule presses in, I pray God will show me exactly how to rest sacrificially - and that He will allow even my rest to bear the fruit of joy and encouragement for others.

Expected Rest

This is part two of the rest series originally published in Arkansas Baptist News.

Recently I shared that God has been teaching me a good deal about rest. I love that the learning never stops. He builds on each lesson, continually growing me. The more I learn, the more I see how much I have left to learn.

Discovering the depths of rest is no exception.

In addition to the surprising lesson that rest is relational, God is showing me more and more that rest is expected. I suppose in the true nature of biblical instruction, I should say that rest is commanded, for that is the reality. Either way, rest is not an option.

But I am just beginning to understand why God expects us to take rest seriously.

What keeps us from resting?

I asked myself that question recently, and I was not too fond of the answer: a lack of trust prevents my rest.

Far too often, I resemble the children of Israel wandering in the desert. They grumbled about the lack of food. So, God sent them manna. But, He told them to collect the manna in a certain way. Five days out of every week they were commanded to collect only what they needed for that day. On the sixth day, their collection was to be enough for two days.

It was illogical. It was improbable. Why would manna that did not last more than twenty-four hours five days a week last forty-eight hours on the sixth day? Had I been among the Israelites, I probably would have obeyed. But I can guarantee you I would have been very skeptical that first week. Even if I took God at His word, it would not have been easy.

But He said to rest on the Sabbath. And He never gives a command or holds an expectation without providing the means for obedience.

That is as true for me today as it was for the Israelites then. God expects me to rest, and He will always provide the way for me to accomplish it.

What about the work I am behind on? What about the little things that have not been done during the week because of other obligations? What about the expectations upon me? What if I let someone down? What if I do not get something done?

Yes, God even has provision for those.

If I choose to not rest, it is because I do not trust Him to take care of everything just as He said He would. And believe me, it feels as improbable, illogical, and unlikely as the preservation of manna. But it is just as expected for me as it was for them.

May we trust Him enough to obey and rest.

Relational Rest

I write a monthly column for Arkansas Baptist News. Because I always try to write about what God is teaching me, sometimes it’s good to go back and reread old columns – like processing back through journal entries to remember what I’ve learned.

This morning I reread – and desperately needed the reminder of – this article from last fall. I thought I’d share it with you! This one turned into a four-article series, so I’ll share the remaining three over the next few weeks.

Life is tiring. Have you noticed? We hit the ground running and eventually forget what it means to stop. To rest.

I am convicted each time I see how seriously Scripture handles the Sabbath. This day of rest was instituted long before the law came into being. In fact, rest existed before sin corrupted the world and laid the burdens of exhaustion upon our backs. Rest is critical, and we must allow God to teach us how to rest.

God has been opening my mind to aspects of rest I have never before considered. Recently, He showed me that rest is relational.

When I think of rest, I think of curling up all by myself with a good book and no distractions. You see, I am an introvert. I love being with people, but social interaction typically drains my energy. I need to recharge after I spend time with people. How in the world can rest be relational?

Fortunately, God is a patient teacher. He is willing to prove His truths to me, even when I am skeptical.

Several weeks ago, my husband dropped me off at the airport for a weekend work retreat. I was about to spend three days at the beach with ten other amazing women, but all I could think of was the energy that would be required of me through the weekend. I went into it tired. How long would it take me to recover once it was all said and done?

I never expected to come away from that trip energized. Those ten women poured into me even as I poured into them. We respected one another’s needs, helped each other recharge, and lived out the beauty of Hebrews 3:13. We pooled our talents and passions, seeing productivity flow even out of our times of fun and relaxation. We rested together in ways we never could have done individually.

For the first time in my life, I saw that even introverts cannot experience the fullness of rest without support and encouragement from fellow believers. Rest really is relational.

Scripture supports this in a profound manner. Consider Psalm 23. This beloved passage wraps me in peace every time I read it. I have always thought of it as a personal passage, but recently I was confronted with a startling truth: David was a shepherd. He knew sheep. And, he knew that sheep do not do well at all on their own. They rest when they are surrounded by the safety of their flock and the protection of their shepherd.

We are God’s sheep. We need to draw upon the presence of one another, encouraging each other daily that we may truly find rest.

This article was originally published in the ABN.

The Marriage Compound

The movie Jerry Maquire came out while I was in college. Many of my peers loved it, but I was never too fond of it. The whole idea of, “You complete me,” just did not resonate with me. But it would be years before I would really understand why.

You see, I was never incomplete.

I look around and see young men and women who feel they must be in a relationship to be whole. They cannot thrive without a significant other by their side. Sadly, that mentality is becoming ingrained in even our young children, as fourth and fifth graders believe they must be in exclusive “relationships.”

Ultimately, they all believe they are incomplete without that relationship.

I could go on and on about the danger of this mentality among our children, youth, and young adults. But, that’s another discussion for another time. For now, I am overwhelmed by the implication this mentality has on the married people of our society.

The idea that we need a spouse for completion makes two presuppositions.

First, it presents the idea that we are incomplete before marriage. Oh, my friends, that is a lie! I said it once, and I will say it again: I was never incomplete. At least, I have not been incomplete since the day I surrendered to Christ’s lordship and He made me whole. Perhaps I was lonely for the type of relationship that can only come from marriage. Maybe certain aspects of my life could never be truly fleshed out without a spouse. But I was not incomplete.

Secondly, this mentality places on our spouses a responsibility they were never meant to carry. They cannot make up for what we lack. If we lack completion, it is because we lack Christ. No human being on earth can fill that hole.

So, if marriage does not complete us, what does it accomplish? After all, the Bible speaks of us as two becoming one. Does that not mean that we fit together like a puzzle?

What if we were to think instead of marriage as a compound?

Think back with me to the basics of high school science. A compound occurs when two elements are combined to form something new. The two elements cannot be easily separated once they are joined. Take water, for instance. Hydrogen and oxygen are elements with their own identities and their own usefulness. But when they come together, they form something brand new - water. Water cannot be used for the purposes hydrogen or oxygen were intended. Neither can hydrogen or oxygen be used in place of water.

Marriage accomplishes the same purpose. When we join together as husband and wife, something new is formed. I can never again be what I was as a single woman. If I try to do so within my marriage, I will only cripple the new creation that God has formed through the union with my husband. If I try to step out of the marriage to reclaim what I once was, I will never succeed. Instead, I will be constantly battling the scars formed by a forced separation. But if I embrace who I am as Doug’s wife and who we are together as a couple, there is much that can be accomplished!

Is there a way you are expecting your spouse to complete you? I encourage you this week to seek that in Christ instead. And watch how that one act will give Him freedom to turn you into a beautiful, fulfilling marriage compound.

Not Overwhelmed…Focused

Over the past few weeks, our family has spent a few hours every Saturday chopping tree branches.

It started when Doug was able to borrow a pole saw and deal with some of the limbs that had been hanging over our house and yard. We wanted to get it done before winter, knowing that an ice storm could wreak havoc on the trees and our roof.

I really didn’t think it would be that big of a job. I mean, I knew there were quite a few branches hanging over the house, but not that many.

For the record, it’s amazing how much bigger and more numerous they seemed when piled on the ground!

The first Saturday, we dove into the pile of what Doug had cut earlier in the week. But when we were only about halfway through the front yard pile (there was another pile on the side of the house and yet another in the back yard), Doug climbed up on the roof and cut out a few more branches.

Have I mentioned there were a LOT of branches?

The next week, we left the front yard and worked on the back yard, chopping, burning, and salvaging logs for the fireplace. We even roasted hot dogs and made s’mores, just to make it a bit more fun.

But it was still overwhelming. And we still had the side yard. And Doug cut down a few more branches in the backyard.

Yes, there were a lot of branches.

On that second Saturday, my oldest was manning the fire. We had a huge pile of branches beside the fire, waiting to be burned. But for two solid hours, that pile didn’t seem to shrink any. We kept cutting and piling, adding branches to the pile and to the fire itself. Finally, we had the back yard cleared - well, except for the huge ever-growing pile still waiting beside the fire.

My daughter, tired and hot from standing near the fire, looked at the huge pile with dread. “That will take forever to burn through, Mom!” she sighed.

Wrapping my arm around her, I turned her toward the rest of the back yard. Her eyes grew wide as she saw bare ground where branches had been piled not long before.

Life has a way of doing this to us. We see only what is right in front of us. Sometimes it is because what is right in front of us requires all of our energy and attention, leaving us no choice. Other times, we choose to keep our attention close, ignoring the broader picture.

Still other times, God closes our eyes to what is beyond the immediate. He knows that seeing it all would be like seeing all of those branches lying in the yard at the same time - overwhelming. The task before us would be too great. All we can handle is what is right in front of us.

But God knows that we can, in truth, handle it all. He knows He can walk us through each step until the job is done. We just need to keep our focus on Him and the little bit right in front of us.

There are times when God wants us to open our eyes to the bigger picture, seeing how He is working beyond our tight, little world. Other times, though, He simply wants us to obey in what He has placed before us right here, right now.

How can you focus today?

(PS - We finished the task last Saturday. Which means tomorrow we get to finally put out fall decorations instead of doing yard work. YAY!)

What Am I Missing?

Doug and I started something new last year. We began using Journibles to help us make our own hand-written copies of Scripture. The whole family has worked through copying Proverbs this year, and Doug and I are also working on Psalms and John. We will probably encourage the kids to do Psalms next year.

Now, I am a homeschooling mom. We do copywork. We do dictation. That is just part of the deal, although I am not as consistent and heavy-handed with those activities as some homeschoolers are. But, you’d think that I would be very attentive to the little details of copying.

And you would be wrong.

It never ceases to amaze me just how easily I miss the little things. I look at a phrase, turn to copy it, and immediately realize that I do not know what punctuation is needed. I can’t remember which article is used in this situation. How much space will I need for the rest of the verse?

I remember the “real” words. But the little details? Not so much. Yet the little details represent significant aspects of each verse. Although punctuation did not exist in the original language, we use it now to shape our understanding of Scripture. Contemplating that comma can really make me stop and consider whether how its presence affects the text.

The little things are a very big deal.

God works in the little things all around us. But do we notice? Or do we miss them, just like I miss those commas, semi-colons, and articles. Sometimes we notice them in a second or third glance. But what happens when we are not forced to take that second or third glance?

Slowly but surely, I am training my brain to truly look at the text I am copying and get it right the first time. More importantly, though, I want to train my heart and mind to catch the little details all around me.

God works in my children’s fleeting smiles and little comments. Do I see it?

God’s hand is seen in the butterfly that flitters across my path. Do I notice?

God is speaking through the momentary expression on a needy soul’s face. Do I hear and obey?

The clutter of life often distracts us from the little things. Big things are too pressing. Too noticeable. They pull at our attention and focus. And the big things are important. I would never say otherwise! But, may we never be too quick to dismiss the little things. May we take the time to truly notice. And may we willingly partner with our heavenly Father as He works through everything, little and big.

My Purpose?

I wonder if David ever had writer’s block.

You laugh. But, when I see all that he wrote, I wonder if he ever wanted to write, but couldn’t. I wonder how many of his prayers never saw the light of day.

Last week I tried to write, but I never could accomplish what I wanted to say. So, I let the week slide by without really writing. Then this week.

But now I sit here thinking about David. And I realize something.

David left behind wonderful words, but not because he had to meet writing deadlines or make sure something was up on the tabernacle bulletin board. No, David’s songs were the expression of what welled up inside of him. Was his relationship with the Lord vibrant and whole? Then words of praise flowed. Was he distant and feeling it? Then despair poured from his lips, rising to the only One who could draw him back to vibrancy.

Last week I tried to write simply because I wanted to have something up on my blog. And I did not succeed. I think it was because I forgot this verse:

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

(And just to be contextual here, the audience receiving this instruction was dealing with honoring God in the midst of a pretty messed up society. I think I have it easy.)

Whether David was up or down, his songs pointed to God. They were for His glory. They lifted up His name. They hashed through the human struggle of trusting a God whose ways cannot always be understood. But they always came back to the reminder that His ways are right, whether David understood or not.

David’s songs were for the glory of God.

Did all of David’s actions glorify God? No. Did David always feel like glorifying God? It’s doubtful. But his legacy, his enduring songs, were all written for the glory of God. And David’s life was most right when his actions intentionally honored God.

What are we striving for this week? What is our purpose? Is it to check something off the to-do list? Is it to keep up with a habit we decided to establish in our lives? Is it to meet someone else’s expectations?

How much better will it be if we strive only to glorify God in every little thing?

And I mean everything.

Work, play, hobbies, life necessities…everything.

I am sure David had days in which he wanted to sing a new song, but he was not faithfully singing that new song for God’s glory. And I bet it was harder to sing on those days. Just like it is harder for me to write on those days. Or work. Or play. Or meet my family’s needs. Or do anything.

Let’s get back to 1 Corinthians 10:31 living. No matter what our circumstances, let’s do all to the glory of God. And let’s see how He shines through our efforts.

Despising the Old

Last week I shared about a willingness to make a change.

My desk is now reorganized, and I love it! I am discovering improvements I never expected from the adjustment - and this was just a minor one!

But, as I contemplate the improvements, a new thought occurs to me. I must not despise the way it used to be. Yes, that seems silly - it’s just desk organization. But, how clearly does the desk organization reflect my attitude toward my past?

Years ago, Doug and I discovered a new Christian rock band. Their first album was different from anything else in the Christian market, and we grew to love it.

Then the second album came out, and it was just okay.

What bothered me the most about the second album, though, was the attitude of the band toward their first album. They looked back on their freshman efforts and declared them immature and rough. Their new album, they claimed, was a marked improvement.

So, what does that say for the fans who loved their first album? Who liked it better than the second?

Fortunately, the band outgrew that mentality. They even returned to the style of their first album and produced several more phenomenal records before moving on to other things. But I never forgot the impact their second-album attitude had on me.

And I never forgot the lesson learned: Don’t despise what brought you to this place.

Sometimes it can be very, very hard to lay aside something that has worked well for us. When we finally do, however, we see that what God has next is infinitely more wonderful! We wonder why we chose to cling to the old for so long. And we forget that the old really was perfect for its time.

We begin to despise the old. The old friendships. The old responsibilities. The old connections. The old books. The old songs. The old whatever…it’s all just old.

But where would we be without the old?

God uses each phase of life to accomplish His great purpose. Every stage is beautiful. Every stage is important. How can we despise what God orchestrated?

There are old things in my life that I look back upon fondly. I do not regret them. Sometimes I miss them. Other times I am thankful that God moved me forward, just as I am thankful that He had me there at the time.

Other things I do not miss. Stages of life that were not what I would have preferred. Or, even if they were good at the time, they did not end as I would have hoped. So, while the experience was sweet, the aftertaste turned bitter.

But both sets of experiences brought me where I am today. Both have been used by God to shape me and grow me. Both are critical. And neither need to be despised.