Not Overwhelmed…Focused

Over the past few weeks, our family has spent a few hours every Saturday chopping tree branches.

It started when Doug was able to borrow a pole saw and deal with some of the limbs that had been hanging over our house and yard. We wanted to get it done before winter, knowing that an ice storm could wreak havoc on the trees and our roof.

I really didn’t think it would be that big of a job. I mean, I knew there were quite a few branches hanging over the house, but not that many.

For the record, it’s amazing how much bigger and more numerous they seemed when piled on the ground!

The first Saturday, we dove into the pile of what Doug had cut earlier in the week. But when we were only about halfway through the front yard pile (there was another pile on the side of the house and yet another in the back yard), Doug climbed up on the roof and cut out a few more branches.

Have I mentioned there were a LOT of branches?

The next week, we left the front yard and worked on the back yard, chopping, burning, and salvaging logs for the fireplace. We even roasted hot dogs and made s’mores, just to make it a bit more fun.

But it was still overwhelming. And we still had the side yard. And Doug cut down a few more branches in the backyard.

Yes, there were a lot of branches.

On that second Saturday, my oldest was manning the fire. We had a huge pile of branches beside the fire, waiting to be burned. But for two solid hours, that pile didn’t seem to shrink any. We kept cutting and piling, adding branches to the pile and to the fire itself. Finally, we had the back yard cleared - well, except for the huge ever-growing pile still waiting beside the fire.

My daughter, tired and hot from standing near the fire, looked at the huge pile with dread. “That will take forever to burn through, Mom!” she sighed.

Wrapping my arm around her, I turned her toward the rest of the back yard. Her eyes grew wide as she saw bare ground where branches had been piled not long before.

Life has a way of doing this to us. We see only what is right in front of us. Sometimes it is because what is right in front of us requires all of our energy and attention, leaving us no choice. Other times, we choose to keep our attention close, ignoring the broader picture.

Still other times, God closes our eyes to what is beyond the immediate. He knows that seeing it all would be like seeing all of those branches lying in the yard at the same time - overwhelming. The task before us would be too great. All we can handle is what is right in front of us.

But God knows that we can, in truth, handle it all. He knows He can walk us through each step until the job is done. We just need to keep our focus on Him and the little bit right in front of us.

There are times when God wants us to open our eyes to the bigger picture, seeing how He is working beyond our tight, little world. Other times, though, He simply wants us to obey in what He has placed before us right here, right now.

How can you focus today?

(PS - We finished the task last Saturday. Which means tomorrow we get to finally put out fall decorations instead of doing yard work. YAY!)

Marriage Monday: Wisdom from the Teen Years

My oldest stood expectantly in her doorway, watching me.

“You don’t want a hug, do you?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I am a teenager, after all.” With a grin, she wrapped her long arms around me and squeezed tightly.

My daughter just entered her teen years, and we frequently chuckle over what many teens find to be unacceptable behavior. On this particular morning, a close relationship with Mom was the topic of discussion.

As we talked, I gave her a bit of advice that I learned as a teenager: Never get into gripe sessions about parents.

Negativity feeds negativity.

As a teen, I was blessed with a few older women I could occasionally confide in. Some were journeymen fresh out of college. Others were older single missionaries. Either way, I knew if I had a real problem, they would listen. But they would also not accept any bad-mouthing from me about my parents.

Peers were a different story. If the conversation ever turned toward frustration with parents, conditions could quickly escalate from minor frustration to outright anger. Something that was small could quickly become a wedge between parent and child. I hated those conversations. I knew what they could do to my contentment and attitude, and I did not want it.

So, I made it a point to never bash my parents publicly. If I really needed to vent or seek advice, I knew who I could trust.

As my daughter and I talked, I reminded her that there will be times of frustration for her. She will, on occasion, want nothing more than to gripe with friends about how unfair and cruel her parents are. But, I am praying now that God will provide that safe place for her to vent. I want her to have wise counsel like I did.

Isn’T this a marriage post?

You’re probably wondering why I have spent over three hundred words gabbing about parenting on a Marriage Monday. Let’s just say that my little “never gripe about parents” practice in high school has been perfect training for marriage!

There are times I get frustrated with my husband and I need to talk it out. But, there are very few people who will ever hear me speak negatively about my husband. Why? Because griping breeds griping whether you’re a teenager or a full-grown adult. When wives get together and complain about their husbands, those poor men suddenly have no chance. Their wives discover that they are agitated about things that had never bothered them before, simply because a girlfriend started griping about that particular issue in her own marriage.

When I need to truly talk something out, I go to one of those rare friends who will listen, identify, and then do whatever they can to help strengthen my marriage. Those conversations ease my frustration. Those conversations help me refocus. Those conversations leave me both relieved of my burden and stronger in my love for my husband.

Are you tempted to gripe today? Prayerfully seek a trusted friend who will help you refocus instead.

To Say I Love You

Yesterday was my oldest’s day to empty the dishwasher and put everything away properly. Typically that is not a problem, even for a Sunday. But yesterday was an exceptionally busy Sunday, and she never had a chance to complete the job. So, because it was left until today when my middle child was supposed to do the chore, we asked the girls to complete the chore together. When they were done, I intended to go back and refill it with the dishes stacked up on the counter.

A little while later I walked through the kitchen to find the counter clean and every dirty dish loaded into the dishwasher.

Now, I have great kids. They do their chores very willingly and without complaint most of the time. But, they don’t always think to go that extra step. They had other chores to complete this morning. It would not have been unreasonable for them to unload the dishwasher and then move on to the vacuuming and dusting.

But they didn’t stop there. They went the next step and gave me the gift of some extra help.

Let me go ahead and say right now that I love that the job was done. I’m so thankful to them! But, I’m more excited about the heart of the matter. My sweet girls did not do the job because it needed to be done. They did it because they wanted to do something for me. They wanted to show me love. They knew that refilling the dishwasher would accomplish that.

Does my heart look like that? I get caught up in being productive. I want to get the job done. I’ve said so many times that I want a checklist. Tell me what I can do for you, and I will be glad to do it!

But sometimes showing love is about doing something just because. Not because it’s on a checklist. Not because I’ve been asked. Not even because it’s really needed. But because I want someone else to know I love them, whether that someone else is another person or my Savior.

I don’t always work well that way. It is not a natural way of thinking for me. But it is natural to the Holy Spirit, and He lives in me. He can love through me if I will let Him. He can see little ways to reach others if I will look with His eyes instead of my own.

This week I want to love like that. Spontaneously. Unexpectedly. With the love of Jesus.

Easy to Forget

Once upon a time, I was the mother of young children. I did not think it was that long ago. But this week my two nieces, ages four and 15 months, are staying with us. It is fun. They are precious. But there are so many things about having a toddler and preschooler that I have forgotten. I suppose it has been longer than I thought.

It is so easy to forget where we once were, isn’t it? It is not so much that we forget having the experience. For example, I remember clearly the first year of my second born’s life, even though she is now well past her tenth birthday.

Yes, the experience is solidly entrenched in my memory. But the how-to of truly living out that experience has escaped me. Were I to start a year like that all over again right now, I would have to relearn the details of daily life, just as I am having to relearn how to have a preschooler and toddler in the house.

But it is not just about relearning the coping mechanisms. It is about restructuring life. Ten years ago, my life was structured to have little ones. My girls were six months and almost three. My whole schedule, routine, and home were built around having children that age.

Nowadays, I can give advice based on how I lived life back then. But, I would have to completely readjust my life to get back to that point. Nothing about where we are right now as a family is conducive to the permanent residence of young children.

We all would do well to remember that truth when others come to us for advice. Are we truly still familiar with what it takes to live certain phases of life? How much adjustment would it require? How easily could we truly step back into that role?

This week I will thoroughly enjoy my sweet nieces. Then I will send them home and life will return to normal routine. But I’m thankful for this snapshot. I’m thankful to have seen a glimpse of what would be required were we to return to toddler/preschool life. And I hope that glimpse will allow me to truly be helpful when other mothers ask me for parenting advice.

Just Don’t Want To

Some days I just don’t wanna do it.

I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to teach my children. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to keep life together. I have seen several “just keepin’ it real, folks” statements on social media. Well, I suppose this is mine. Some days I just don’t want to.

Over the years, though, I have learned that giving in to my “don’t want to” temptations does not solve anything. I cannot run away today and suddenly feel motivated tomorrow. In fact, the more I run away the less motivated I feel tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. Life falls apart when I run away.

I have also had to learn the difference between giving up and truly resting. Giving in to the “don’t want to” feeling is running away. It is laziness. It is a lack of discipline. Rest, on the other hand, is biblical. It refreshes me, refocuses me, and truly energizes me to get back into the game.

I don’t think I realized I had learned this lesson until recently, though. You see, I have been particularly unmotivated lately. I have felt a little bit maxed out and very behind on just about everything. That always intensifies the “don’t want to” feeling. It has been a hard fight lately.

Meanwhile, when the time changed we rearranged bedtime for the kids a bit so they could stay outside a little longer, enjoying whatever pretty weather comes our way. That has meant a later wake-up time for them as well.

I go in to awaken two of my three children, but my oldest has grown to prefer her own alarm clock. This child has always loved sleep. She is my latest sleeper and the one most likely to enjoy loafing around in her pj’s all day. I expected her to most enthusiastically welcome the later wake-up time every morning.

Imagine my surprise when, just a few days after the schedule adjustment, my daughter was up at the old wake-up time. Her explanation? “I just feel better when I get up earlier, Mom. It’s not exactly fun, but I know it helps me be more diligent and relaxed with my day.” It might be less fun, but it’s more restful. How profound.

This thinking is not in my daughter’s nature any more than it is in my own. But, as we have trusted her to be more in control of her time, she has watched us. She has seen how we deal with our mornings. She has observed the differences between our days of diligence and our days of laxity.

She has learned because we have learned.

Diligence on those “don’t want to” days does not just impact me. It does not just grow me. It does not just strengthen me. It makes an impact on those around me - especially on my children. It gives them the foundation upon which to build habits and decision-making skills that will carry them far as they grow.

Today, I must admit, is very much a “don’t want to” day. But, I cannot help but smile as I do it all anyway. My baby girl is watching. Even when nothing else matters, that makes it all worthwhile.

Dirty Water

My son has a fish. He got it from his sisters for Christmas. For the most part, he can take care of it by himself. But, he needs help changing the water every week.

That’s where Mommy comes in. It is my job to help change the water. There’s only one problem with this whole set-up. I forget.

The fish is out of sight, and out of sight means out of mind for me. Especially on a Saturday, the day we are supposed to change the water. And unfortunately, my son has not quite gotten to the point that he remembers well either.

That is how Bobby the Fish went about three weeks without fresh water.

I discovered this calamity the other night when I went to tuck my son in and say good night. I asked if he’d fed Bobby, and he said no. Since we were getting to bed much later than usual, I went over to take care of the feeding myself, letting my son go ahead and crawl into bed. I took one look at Bobby’s water and recoiled. It was awful! We made a plan to tackle the water change first thing the next morning.

I think there are parts of my heart that are like Bobby’s water. They don’t necessarily need daily attention. But, they still need maintenance. Yet somehow they get neglected. Forgotten. And when they do, the results are nasty. In fact, they could cause serious problems, if not even the death of something precious. A relationship. An area of growth. A plan. A step of obedience.

Every aspect of my spiritual life needs regular attention. There is no area of growth that can be left untended permanently. True, it might not be the big glaring issue in my life at the moment. But, it’s still there. The things that were established my first years as a Christian still need to be put into the cleansing hands of Christ.

Sometimes that seems a bit overwhelming. I mean, there’s a lot to me! What if I miss something?

Fortunately, I don’t have to rely on my own faulty memory to keep those areas clean. I simply have to stayed tuned to the One who cleanses me. If I listen to Him, He gives me those reminders. He puts the need in front of me when the time comes.

What dirty water needs to be changed in your life this week? What little thing needs tending? Let the Holy Spirit nudge you, reminding you. I guarantee, the results will be much more pleasant than the dirty water you’re swimming in right now!

A Big Reminder from a Little Note

Yesterday I received something precious - a note from my daughter.

It wasn’t just any old note. It was an expression. It was an admission that she could never have given verbally. In fact, it was something I asked her to give verbally a couple of weeks ago. But all she could say was, “I don’t really know.” She did know, but she just couldn't put it into words until she had a pencil in her hand. Then the words flowed. She stashed the note, and I found it yesterday.

It’s all rather ironic. I think better through written word than through spoken word. I can articulate more clearly. When I speak, sometimes I forget even the most basic vocabulary. When I write - or even when I think about writing - words that I would never say explode in my mind. Why am I so surprised that one of my children would be the same?

Yet it does surprise me. In fact, it is such a surprise that I never considered encouraging her to write out her feelings when she couldn't express them verbally. I know now. Why didn't I know before?

In the homeschool world, one of the most oft-repeated bits of advice is to pay attention to how our children learn. Yes, there are things they have to learn. Period. But they don’t have to all learn it the same way. In fact, they cannot all learn the same way. I have heard this advice. I have given this advice. But sometimes I still miss it. Why? Because there are always things I neglect to pay attention to.

This is an important thing to remember spiritually as well. None of us are exempt from the command to go out and declare the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are all expected to make disciples. But can we really accomplish this if we do not form relationships? Just as people learn differently academically, they also come to the faith from different perspectives. One Savior. One Way to the Father. But different mental approaches.

One simply hears a gospel presentation and is moved.

Another sees the power of healing and believes.

Still another must process and sift through the proof.

And yet another must see the proof through the life of a friend.

I could go on and on and on with stories I have seen through the course of my life. A child has a dream and knows that she must learn more about this Jesus from her dreams. An atheist looks at the world around him and cannot help but believe that there is a Creator. A middle-aged woman has been a church member all her life when she suddenly realizes Jesus desires that she know Him personally. Oh how the stories grab my heart in a powerful way!

Yes, each person is so different, but if we do not take the time to get to know each person, we will instead hand them a cookie-cutter path to Jesus. A path that might never mean anything to them.
I have to chuckle a bit at the revelation from my daughter. God opened my eyes before the teen years hit! Thank You, Lord! Only He knows what challenges this understanding will avert! I cannot wait to see what parts of her heart begin to unfold as she shares her thoughts through the written word. And I’m more than a little proud that she is at least a little like me.

Now I pray that this little lesson will keep me open to the hearts of others as well. May I really get to know them. May I see what makes them tick and what appeals to their understanding. And through that, may I truly be able to make disciples in Jesus’ name.

Every Single Time

Sometimes we miss a day of school unexpectedly. A need arises that trumps the need to open math and language arts books that day, and our schedule thankfully allows for such flexibility. (That’s one of the reasons we homeschool in the first place!)

When we do miss a day, though, at least one child inevitably comes to me the next day with this question: “Mommy, should I just do yesterday’s work today?”

Now, my children’s checklists work sequentially. Math lessons build on concepts learned previously. Language arts exercises build upon one another. Although we have occasionally skipped a redundant page or exercise, we typically just progress from one lesson to the next and one concept to the next.

In light of that, should it not be obvious that my children should fall back and do the skipped day’s work? Should they really have to ask that question every single time?

As with many things, though, the behavior of my children points right back to my own behavior as a child of God.

I have much more than a checklist. I have God’s Word. It tells me of His love for me. It tells me how I should respond to that love. It gives me the full guide for life. Not just a little bit. Not just an overview, requiring details to be spilled out.

The full guide.

Yet I still cannot help but ask the questions.

“Lord, how should I do this again?”

“Father, is this really what You want me to do?”

“I know that’s what You said, but does that really apply in this situation?”

“I’ve hit this snag. This hardship. This stumbling block. Are you sure this is the path I should be taking?”

Every time, the answer is the same. His Word is clear, and He always directs me right back to it. What does it tell me? How does it direct me? It’s all right there. I simply must follow it in His wisdom and understanding.

Has something unexpected altered your path lately? How are you handling that alteration? Oh how I encourage you as I’m trying to encourage myself: go back to the Word! He has outlined it all for us perfectly. Will we follow that perfect guide?

Knowing it All…Or Not

Sometimes thoughts pop into my head that seem downright wonderful. I want to write them out. Process them. Turn them into something tangible. But when I try to do so, they fall apart. They don't seem to materialize quite like I want or even expect them to. A thought that feels so complete one instant seems to be missing something – maybe a lot of somethings – in the next.

That feeling can be incredibly frustrating. When it happens, I am tempted to just toss the whole idea and never touch it again. It is incomplete after all. What more can I do with it?

A family discussion earlier this week made me rethink that response.

Our church is reading through the Bible jointly this year, and all three of our children are participating. Every morning, we read a portion. Then we discuss it, either at breakfast or at lunch.

One morning, I cringed as I read a passage in Genesis. We're really encouraging our children to read this? I thought to myself. Almost as if reading my thoughts, my husband chuckled and commented on the nature of some of our Scripture readings.

At lunch that day, we asked the children if they had any questions. A few things were tossed out, but nothing major. So my husband looked at our young son and asked if he had any questions. He shook his head.

“You understood everything?” Doug asked with a grin.

“Yes,” our son replied.

“Did you know,” I chimed in, “that I first read that passage when I was about nine or ten? And I've read it many times since then. But even I learned something new from it today!”

But still, he was convinced he understood it all. Doug and I knew better. But, we just reminded the children to be intentionally looking for questions or points of interest to share. Then we moved on.

The whole incident made me stop and think about my own growth in understanding. I clearly remember the first time I read the stories of Genesis for myself. I was running a fever that day. And I was bored. I didn't feel well enough to get up and play in my room, but I also wasn't sleepy. When I complained to Mom, she handed me a Bible. Before I knew it, I'd spent the afternoon mesmerized by the non-storybook version of familiar stories I'd known for as long as I could remember.

And now, just shy of thirty years later, I am still learning new things from those same passages.

Here on earth, I will always wrestle with incomplete thoughts and incomplete understanding. My thoughts and words will never be able to capture the full depth of the spiritual truths that rumble through my mind on a daily basis. Just as I know there is much more for my son to understand as he reads the Bible, so I also know that there is much more for me to understand. An incomplete thought is a necessary start and cannot be discarded.

In the meantime, I must say that I am thankful for my son's lack of understanding in some areas. I'm thankful that God's Word, no matter how explicit some parts may be, is perfectly safe for my children because it is the living, breathing Word of God. He illuminates it as they need it.

And He will illuminate my understanding in just the same way.

Things I Learn from Disciplining My Child

This morning I clashed with one of my children. Yes, it does happen. Rather frequently. I'm a normal mom, after all, and my kids are normal kids.

This particular clash came because an instruction my husband and I had given over and over again was one again ignored. When I asked if the instruction was remembered, my precious child responded that yes, it was remembered. When I asked if the affects to siblings and the rest of the family were known, the answer was once again a yes. Feeling my anger rise, I simply said, “Okay,” and walked away. I knew I needed to step away so that I could hear the wisdom being whispered to me by the Holy Spirit.

So, walk away I did. Within a few minutes the peace of the Lord had washed over me and I was ready to talk with my child. I laid a few things out, and then we went our separate ways so my young one could contemplate the next step.

When all was said and done, three things really hit me about the whole encounter.

1. I typically don't walk away soon enough. I say too much before I open myself to the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. Too much anger is allowed. Too much talking. I've gotten better, to be sure. But this morning showed me just how much more wonderful it can be if I really walk away at the very beginning. If I really allow myself to grasp the situation and then say nothing...nothing at all...before the Lord has had a chance to work on my heart.

2. The personality that makes us prone to the sin also strengthens us for obedience. And our children need to know that. This morning's disobedience was born out of an inborn desire to stand out. To be different. To never bend to an action or behavior just because someone says, “Do this!” As I started our “discussion,” I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit to explain that a stubbornness like that can be a great thing! (You should have seen the size of my child's eyes when I said that!) Those who refuse to say, “How high?” just because someone else says, “Jump!” tend to get into less trouble. Of course, that attitude also leads to rebellion. Rebellion against our parents. Rebellion against God. I explained that, too, and the eyes got even bigger. My child suddenly understood that the personality itself is not bad. In fact, it's good! But the disobedience is not. My child felt affirmed instead of beaten.

3. We have to plan for obedience. In just a few minutes, I'm going to ask my child for the plan of obedience that was to be mulled over through the course of the day. We never just happen into obedience. It doesn't work. What we happen into is disobedience. Lack of discipline. Self-centeredness. Obedience is much more intentional. We have to make a plan. Prepare. Intend to surrender. Obedience and discipline go hand in hand, and discipline never just happens. Thinking back to my response to my children's disobedience, I realize that I cannot just happen into stepping back to listen to my Father's instructions for disciplining my children. I must be sensitive to Him in the first place so I will not give in to my anger. If I need that preparation, how much more do my children?

I'll be honest – this day started off rough for many reasons. But after that encounter with my precious child, it began to improve. God's peace reigned. We had a good school day. And my interactions with all three of my children were good.

Obedience is good. Learning from it is even better!

Rain, Prayers, and Rejoicing

Remember that beautiful afternoon of rain I wrote about last month? Well, we’ve been waiting for another rain since that day. It’s been another dry, dry summer.

This evening, rain crept up on us. The girls had just left to go bowling with their Sunday school class. Doug was on his way to an evening meeting. Steven and I were gearing up to spend some quality time together. And there came the rain.

I called to Steven, urging him to look out the window. He saw the increasing wetness of the sidewalk even before he could discern the drops lightly falling from the sky. He pressed his hands and face to the window, delighted.

“We’ve been praying for this rain, Mommy!” he exclaimed!

Yes, my precious son, we have. Indeed we have.

There’s something about rejoicing together with fellow believers. How much more precious when it’s your family? I know, I know, we’re all “family.” But, there’s nothing like rejoicing and praising with my husband and children. Nothing like it at all!

But in order to rejoice together, we must first pray together. My children will not understand my excitement and delight over answered prayer unless they first know the effort of praying.

Often we do not even think about sharing little prayer requests on a daily basis. We share the big ones with our prayer partners, but what about those daily, continual, little prayer requests? Do we pray together with our loved ones, giving them a glimpse into our hearts?

It’s hard for me sometimes to remember to share requests with my husband and children. I neglect the act of letting them get a glimpse into my heart and mind. And in doing so, I rob them of the joy of sharing in the fullness of my rejoicing when the time comes.

You may not have a spouse or children. But, there is always someone with whom you can share the little, daily prayers. There is someone who wants to rejoice with you.

Steven and I rejoiced greatly in the wonderful rain this evening as we played games and ate supper together. It brought a time of joy and refreshing. And it reminded me to keep sharing…so we can keep rejoicing.

Homeschool Growth

A thought hit me this morning as I washed the dishes before school: Homeschooling has taught me much about spiritual growth. As I look back over six and a half years of homeschooling, I find it quite amazing how the learning curves parallel. Yet, I don't always pay attention to the spiritual side of the lessons that are so obvious on the homeschool side. Today, though, I paid attention. Will you allow me to share a few of the thoughts that passed through my mind?

Three Spiritual Realities Homeschooling Has Taught Me

Learning is a long, slow process.

My wonderful husband preached on this yesterday, and my mind mulled over it this morning. When my children first learned to read, it was a slow, painstaking process. Well, for two of them, at least. They learned their letters quickly, but had to work hard to discover what it meant to combine those letters into sounds and then words. My middle child, on the other hand, had no such difficulty. About a month before her fifth birthday I knew she was ready to begin the process. So, we started learning letter sounds. Within four months the child was reading on a fifth grade level. I couldn't keep up with her! But, where her siblings struggled with the mechanics of reading, she struggled with comprehension. Words never stopped her. Meanings, however, did. All three of them had to work to learn to read. And they are still working to continually strengthen their reading muscles and advance their abilities.

Meanwhile, there is an incredibly beautiful lady at church, one I consider a spiritual giant. She has seen her children and grandchildren to adulthood and is now delighting in beautiful great-grandchildren. She has been a Christian for decades. Yet still she visibly grows. Her heart and mind are curious, hungering, and constantly reaching. Just as my children slowly learn the concept of reading, she, and other spiritual giants like her, are still slowly learning spiritual truths that will more greatly conform them to the likeness of Christ. Slowly. Steadily.

No one can know everything at once.

This might seem like a repeat of the first point, but it really is different. It's easy to look at the vast amount of information out there and want to dump it all in my children's heads right now! As my seventh grader starts pre-algebra, a calculus lecture from her father will be incredibly overwhelming for her.

That example seems obvious, I'm sure. Yet how often do we despair because we lack a solid grasp on the entirety of what it means to be a Christian? I remember a conversation with a newly saved young mom. The enormity of all she did not know weighed heavily upon her, leaving her in tears of frustration. Relief washed over her as we discussed taking small bites of Scripture and focusing on what the Lord was teaching her right then. Just as my seventh grader should only be expected to focus on pre-algebra, building on the math she learned throughout her elementary years, so we need only focus on the foundation we have established and the truths God is placing before us right now.

I am not teaching information.

When I tell people I homeschool, one of the most frequent responses I hear is, “I could never do that! I'm not smart enough! I don't know enough to teach my children.” My response? Neither do I! When I first began homeschooling, I felt I had to know information before I could teach it to my children. I've since learned differently. My job is not to feed knowledge to them. My job is to build within them a passion for learning. All three of my precious students caught the learning bug at a very young age. They hunger for it. They crave it. They seek out and heartily embrace opportunities to learn new things. It matters little what I know. I must simply teach them how to satisfy their hunger for learning. I guide them to the appropriate resources, often learning right alongside them. What a joy such learning is!

At church I teach youth girls. Several of these girls have been raised in church, yet they seem to have very little familiarity with the Bible and its contents. Why? It's not because they haven't been taught – I know they have! It's more that they've never caught a passion for the things of God. They've never discovered the joy of hungering after His Word. I can't force that onto them. None of their teachers can. But we can live it in front of them! We can exhibit such a passion of our own that they desire what we have! It's not an easy thing to communicate to teenagers who think learning is uncool. As I walk through the Bible with them, I hunger and pray that my excitement will be contagious. I don't want to just give them information about the Bible. I want them to catch a hunger for it!

Yes, homeschooling has taught me much about science and history and many other things. But, it has also strengthened me spiritual. What a joy that God can grow me through every aspect of my service to Him!

The Unknown

We recently read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a summer family read-aloud. Everyone in the family had read it before except my youngest. Although he is reading chapter books, he's not quite ready to tackle the Chronicles of Narnia on his own. But, with two older sisters who love Narnia, we knew it was time to introduce him!

There is so much incredible spiritual imagery in the Narnia series, and it was beautiful to see truths light up in my son's eyes as he listened to my husband read. I especially loved watching his body posture change with the first mentions of Aslan. As Doug read the responses of Edmund, Peter, Susan, and Lucy to the very mention of Aslan's name, I could literally see the thrill move through my son. And I felt it in myself, too. I'd read the book before, but there was something powerful about hearing it read aloud to me.

The most beautiful thing is that C. S. Lewis did not pull such emotional responses to the unknown out of thin air. The spiritual imagery in the Chronicles of Narnia contemplates what the presence of God and Jesus might look like in another world. So, the responses of the characters is very similar to what you might find in Scripture.

I could use so many passages of Scripture to explore the amazing impact of joy in the unknown, but I will choose Psalm 16. It is the passage that stood out to me most recently.

I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:7-11 (emphasis mine)

As I read this passage, I realized that David was rejoicing in something he did not understand. You see, the Old Testament does not really teach much about eternity or an afterlife. Yes, there is evidence of it. And yes, teachings of heaven did form among the Jews (leading to one of the major points of disagreement between the Pharisees and Sadducees of the New Testament era). But David really did not have a great deal of context for what came after death.

Even so, a great deal of David's rejoicing came from the fact that he could trust the Lord with his soul, both in life and in death.

David's reference to God's Holy One also stands out. In this, he wrote about the Savior of whom he knew nothing. Essentially, throughout this psalm, David is rejoicing in the unknown. He pens the words, but he does not really know what they mean. He just knows that they awaken an intense flow of praise within him.

When we limit ourselves to rejoicing only in the known, we miss so much. We know so little about God and His incredible kingdom. So very little! May we allow ourselves to be thrilled by the unknown as well. May we respond when those rushes of awe speed through us like lightning. May we worship simply because we know we can trust Him.

What are You Saying?

I flip through the stack of paper in my hands. The writings of other people. Some are short. Others are long. Some just need a few touch-ups here and there or basic adaptations to fit with our site's format. Others need a little more work. But all of them represent the willingness of people to stand up and make a statement. Product reviewers who are ready to share their opinions. People from all walks of life writing blog posts for fellow homeschoolers, ministers' wives, special needs parents, or whatever. Professionals who willingly share their knowledge with the world.

Not all of these writers are writers, if you know what I mean. It doesn't come naturally to them. They don't have a love for it like others might. But they know they have something to share. So, they write. They make me proud.

We all have something to say. And God has provided a forum for each and every one of us that we may say it. It might be through writing or speaking. It might be through singing or performing. It might be through something much more silent such as an act of service. It might be in the background – in that place some people don't even know exists. It might be doing something no one will ever know about, at least no directly. But ultimately, we all have something to say through our lives.

What are you saying today? Are you simply walking through life, earning your living, and surviving? Or are you saying something? If you're saying something, what are you saying? Is it about your life or about the Lord Jesus Christ?

The writers, homeschool parents, and ministers' wives whose writings I edit are all saying something. Sometimes they say something funny. Other times, it's much more serious. Sometimes it will convince you to go out and buy a product. Other times you'll want to go hug your kids thankfully one more time. But they all inspire some action. Some response. Some thought.

What do you have to say? What response do the things you have to say evoke in others?

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Hard Things

I dread hard things. I think it is the unknown that I dread the most. I don't know how the hard thing will feel, and I know that my emotions tend to get me into a lot of trouble. What if I can't handle it? What if it is interminable? How will I stand strong?

This week my son is facing a hard thing. He is experiencing a first in his very young life – a week without his sisters.

As the third child in a homeschool family, my son has no idea what life is like without siblings. Rarely are both of the girls gone without him, and even if they are it is for short periods of time. Typically his biggest frustrations revolve around them still working on school work after he is done or them deciding to play something girly when he wants to play with them.

But this week the girls are off at camp. He nearly cried when that van pulled away yesterday morning, taking them from him. He really did not think that anything would be okay. He dreaded the hard thing facing him.

Then came the rest of yesterday, and it was really good. First thing in the morning I gathered up the edits I needed to work on. I then asked my son where he was going to play. He picked a spot, and I grabbed my bean bag chair and plopped down right beside him. As he played with his Legos, I worked on my edits. He would show me his creations and we would chat every now and then. He even told me it felt like we were having date time, even though I was working! Later I got some snuggles and we played together a bit before lunch.

He played through the afternoon and then we went for a swim before spending a little time with Daddy in the evening. It was a good day.

Today he has a friend over, and they have already enjoyed a delightful hour and a half of various play. I think I hear Legos clinking right now. Good ole Legos.

Today will pass quickly, and then we'll face tomorrow. I already have a few things planned that we can do together, some productive and others fun. Then Friday morning we will get up and get on the road early so we can go see the girls as they and their fellow campers present all they've learned this week.

Is it an easy week? Nope. Are we all having to change our normalcy with the girls gone? Without a doubt. But is it bad? Hardly! It's actually been quite good so far.

I realize that not all hard things turn out so easily. But, when I put it into perspective, I realize that this is a pretty big deal for my not-quite-seven-year-old, just as our hard things are big deals for us. And when we rest in Christ, our hard things really do turn out more wonderfully than we expect. They might not be easier than we expect. In fact, they might turn out to be even harder than anticipated! But, they always end up more beautiful than we could ever imagine.

God goes much farther to walk us through our hard things than I have gone to walk Steven through this week. He draws us to Himself, opening up opportunities for us to do the very thing we were created to do – worship and glorify Him with the entirety of our beings! That's the knowledge I want to walk in as I anticipate hard things. They will still be hard. But they will also be beautiful because they will draw me closer to Him.

All Around Us

I love the hymn “How Great Thou Art.” I used to sing it to my children at bedtime. We would sing together through all of the silly little toddler songs, and then it would be time to really settle down. That is when the longer songs, typically hymns, would begin.

I remember using “How Great Thou Art” to try to help my sweet son settle down during a storm. He has an extra sensitivity to loud noises and lights, and storms overwhelmed him. He would freeze up, every muscle in his body so tense that I could not help him relax. If he had a grip on me, there was no loosening it. The only thing moving would be the tears streaming down his face as he suffered through the noise.

So, I would talk to him about the amazing God who loved him, protected him, and was more powerful than any storm.

I see the stars

I hear the rolling thunder

Thy power throughout the universe displayed

This hymn reflects a mentality spread all throughout the Psalms. God is in the mighty. He is in the powerful. He is in the overwhelming. And He is so much greater than all of those things put together!

Yet, in the Psalms we also see how He is in the small. The simple. The almost unnoticeable.

He is in so much, yet I so frequently miss Him. Oh so frequently.

This week I've seen His hand in so many ways. I want to see more. I want my eyes to be opened to the incredible ways in which God's presence is everywhere! He gives us such an amazing gift, a gift that goes far beyond just sending one of our representatives into His presence once a year for the purpose of atonement. We have the gift of standing in His presence every single moment of every day! Yet, we take it for granted, ignoring Him in all the ways He reveals Himself all around us.

I cannot hear thunder and see lightning without thinking of the amazing presence and power of God. And now even my son can do the same. I'll never forget the stormy night I went to check on him and he calmly and groggily said, “The thunder woke me up, but I went right back to sleep, Mommy.” He almost did not stay awake long enough to finish his sentence! Sounds and lights still overwhelm his senses, and sometimes storms still cause stress. But, his little six-year-old heart now serves as a temple for his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and oh what a difference that makes as he deals with overloaded senses or any other stress! He sees God all around him!

Lord God, may I see you! In the big, in the little, and in everything in between!

A Real Giver

Three years ago I bought a big bag of men's tube socks. My daughter's ninth birthday was approaching, and at the last minute (from a “make a birthday present” perspective), she decided she wanted me to make her a sock doll.

A sock doll?

I still have no clue where she got that idea. She had no criteria other than that it be a doll made from socks. Okay.

So, I prayed for wisdom and direction and then made a sock doll. I was nervous, afraid it would not live up to her expectations, but I poured every ounce of my thought and creativity into trying to do it well. My anxiety was unfounded. She loved the doll!

Over the past three years, many more sock dolls have joined the family. William came along a year after Susan, and now they have a son named George. My other two children have sock dolls as well—Ella, Oliver, and Han. A seventh doll, George's still unnamed little sister, has been stuffed and is awaiting final assembly, a face, hair, and a dress. She will be a birthday present from my son to his big sister.

Amazingly enough, even with all of those sock dolls, we've barely used half of that bag of socks. Half a bag of tube socks, a bit of fiberfill, some fabric scraps, a bit of yarn, and a whole lot of love, time, energy, planning, and excitement have produced three years of gifts so far.

Real gifts are like that. More than money or other resources, real gifts require time, energy, thought, and even prayer. They require a part of ourselves. Perhaps that is why so many of us have pulled away from being a giving people. Oh, we spend money on other people, tossing stuff at them on appropriate gift-giving occasions, but we do not truly give. Giving is too hard. It cannot be done by walking into a store and picking something cute off the shelf.

Real gifts might be bought at a store. They might be made. They might be neither, consisting instead of time shared, a shoulder offered, a listening ear made available, a word of encouragement offered. Whatever they may be, they are thought out. They require effort. They are sacrificial.

When did you last truly give? My children do it all the time, but I think it's been a while for me. As I help my son finish his sock doll gift, I realize that I want to change that fact.

I want to really give.

Just Talking

Every week I try to have some focused time with each of my three children. We call it our “date time,” and we typically play a game or create something together.

Yesterday I had date time with my oldest. As we played a few rounds of nerts together, we just started talking. She had seemed a little glum that morning, so I asked a few questions to make sure she felt alright. By the end of date time, our talk had become so incredibly silly that we could hardly play our game! Somewhere in the middle, though, my sweet girl said something that grabbed hold of my heart and wouldn't let go.

When I feel bad, I don’t even have to talk to you about anything specific. Just talking to you at all makes me feel better, even when we talk about nothing!

“Nothing” is exactly what we talked about. I cannot for the life of me tell you what was so funny about our conversation, and I know we didn't cover anything deep and meaningful. But by the end of our date time, both of us felt unified, cheerful, and ready to conquer the day.

Why can I not approach my heavenly Father this way? Regardless of my mood, I feel like I have to talk to Him about something. I have to pray over a prayer list or present a specific issue to Him. I have to make sure my words of praise are just right or that I focus well when I sing to Him in worship.

What if I were to just talk. Or maybe just listen. Perhaps even simply laugh with the delight of knowing His presence.

What if I didn't have to have an agenda for prayer.

Maybe I'm the only one just now cluing in to such a fantastic thought. Perhaps the rest of you are far ahead of me. But this is where I am. I forget that I can approach my heavenly Father just like my baby girl approaches me. I can simply delight in the fact that He wants to be with me. I can find joy in the knowledge that He loves my presence and the sound of my voice. He loves those little moments when my focus is completely on Him. He loves me more than I could ever imagine loving my daughter. That's hard to fathom because I really love my children.

As I type, Philippians 4:4 is running through my mind.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

I don't think I'll ever see that verse the same way again. My sweet girl's statement about conversation with me sums up what it means to rejoice in the Lord always. Communion with Him brings rejoicing.

Lord, may I learn the joy of truly talking to you about everything...and nothing.

Stages

Wednesday night we had the delightful opportunity to share in a storm system that ripped through several states. Thankfully, no tornadic rotation ever came near us, but the storm roared loudly for quite some time.

The thunder rolled in while we were still at church, with the rain just beginning as everyone headed home. We got home, sent the kids to get ready for bed, and checked the radar to determine if we could send them on to their rooms or if we needed to herd them into our bed since it is much closer to our “take cover” spot. Despite the house-shaking noise of the storm, we felt confident we could send them on to their rooms with the promise that we would get them up if anything changed.

Just like that, all three munchkins went to bed and settled down easily. Each time my husband checked on them through the night, they were all three sleeping soundly. I cannot help but smile in thankfulness at this stage of life, especially considering where we were not even a year ago.

My baby boy has long had a high sensitivity to sights and sounds. I could easily tell when my son became overwhelmed by tall buildings, sudden noises, or anything related to a crowd because he would stiffen and cling. By stiffening, I mean he would lock into position and barely move an eye muscle. If I was holding him, I could completely let go and he would not fall! For years, even a little thundershower would send him into panic mode. Imagine the effect of a full-blown storm!

Then one night, something changed. A loud boom of thunder awakened us in the middle of the night. I jumped up to go check on my son, certain I would find him stiff and sobbing. When I peeked into his bed, I was shocked to be greeted by a sleepy smile.

“Are you doing okay?” I asked him gently.

“Mmm-hmmm,” came the groggy reply. “The loud boom woke me up.”

“Do you need Mommy, or can you go back to sleep?” He was almost too sleepy to answer. I kissed him, tucked the covers more tightly around him, turned his music on per his request, and left my brave big boy to drift back off to sleep despite the rumbles going on outside. My husband and I checked on him several more times that night, but he never stirred again. Now, just a few months later, he not only sleeps through storms, but can put himself to sleep even while one begins raging at bedtime.

We have moved to a new stage in life.

I remember so many other stages. There was the stage when my oldest was a newborn. She slept well and was a perfect baby until 11:00 at night when she would decided to scream. A couple of years later, her baby sister went through a ten-month stage of refusing to sleep much at all, followed by four more years of night terrors. We have endured bed-wetting stages, lying stages, fighting stages, and “push all of Mommy's buttons” stages. We have experienced enjoyable stages, too, as we have watched our children learn, grow, and develop.

I wonder how my heavenly Father looks upon my stages of life. I, too, go through both good and bad stages. I can look back on my life and see intense struggles, remembering how it seemed I would never get past a specific perpetual temptation or develop discipline in a certain area. Now, those things are behind me and I almost never even think of them any more. New issues have taken their place, though, and the new struggles now seem interminable. But I know that these, too, are only stages. I will grow through these stages just as I have grown through every previous stage.

Are you struggling in a stage? Persevere, my friend. God is growing you through it. Even as my sweet son suddenly overcame his terror of storms as we firmly and lovingly walked him through each one, so you will overcome your struggle under the firm and loving hand of your Father.

Just to be With You

Steven noticed me rummaging around the kitchen, putting away dishes and taking care of a few other tasks. Thinking I intended to wash dishes, he ran to grab a stool and push it up beside the sink, ready to rinse. Rinsing dishes ranks among his favorite household chores, and he never minds jumping in to help family members. It's a bit different with me, though. If he has the slightest inclination that I am preparing to wash dishes, he will drop anything and everything, grab a stool, and jump up to be by my side. Many of my tasks he cannot help me accomplish, but he knows he can help with the dishes. And he knows it offers a perfect opportunity to be close to his mommy.

On this particular occasion, I gently informed him that I wasn't washing the dishes right then. I was simply taking care of a few things while I waited for his big sister to be ready for our weekly date time. (My date time with him would come a couple of days later.) The expression on his face said it all. He was sincerely disappointed to miss that shoulder to shoulder time rinsing the dishes, even though we would get some nice snuggle time shortly when we sat down for Bible and read-aloud time in school. Later in the day he was disappointed again when he saw me prepare to wash dishes but knew it was time for him to go shower. He rushed through his shower as quickly as possible just so he could come back and help me. And yes, he did somehow still manage to get clean!

That is the deep beauty of fellowship. It is the choice to do whatever it takes to be near someone, even if whatever it takes is a less than pleasant task and even if other, more pleasant, together time has just occurred or will come very soon. For my precious son, it matters little how much time he has spent close to me leading up to that moment or will soon spend with me. We might have just given each other hugs in passing while going through the business of the morning, or we might have spent the last hour with him in my lap. We might be ready to launch into our individual tasks or be preparing for date time. All he knows is that he can never get enough Mommy time, and he will gladly do anything to be with me.

I want to be like that with my heavenly Father. I want to love His presence so much that it does not matter what we do together or how much time we have already spent together. I want to hunger for His company so greatly that I will do anything and go anywhere as long as I get to be with Him.

I admit, I have not yet reached that level of hunger for His companionship. But I know the delight I feel when my son wants to be with me. I exult in his enthusiasm and attentiveness. Although it is hard for me to fathom that the Creator of all existence could feel the same way about my attention to Him, I know it to be true. He loves my presence. He loves my attention. He loves my hunger for Him.

May we be like Steven, willing to do any task just to be by the side of our Father.