My Certainty

Uncertainty. Don’t you just love it. Never knowing what’s around the next bend? Not being able to plan and anticipate?

Okay, if that excited you and made you say, “Yes! I do love it!” then I will go ahead and admit something right now - I don’t understand you. I may still love you, and I will probably try to draw on your strength and excitement when I’m overwhelmed by uncertainty. But I just cannot understand you.

No, I do not always have to have all of the answers, nor do I insist on a crystal clear path at all times. Admittedly, surprises are fun, and the unexpected keeps life interesting and exciting. But that’s not the same as uncertainty.

Uncertainty is knowing that there is something around the corner - and possibly even knowing what it is - but not really being able to predict how it will impact life. If I know that something uncertain is ahead of me, I want to at least have the chance to do something productive to prepare for the uncertainty.

It’s like knowing that tornado season is coming around. I’m an Arkansan, which means tornado season is a given. I do not know when storms will come, but I know they will. And although I cannot guarantee my family’s safety during a tornado, I can do practical, productive things to prepare. I can make sure that we all know where to go to take cover quickly and smoothly. I can make sure necessities are easy to grab. I can prepare.

The problem comes when I see uncertainty on the horizon and cannot do a thing about it. I can’t prepare. I can’t plan. I can only wait. Wait in the uncertainty.

That’s exactly where the Lord puts me from time to time. Why? Because I’m finding my certainty in activity. In preparation. In doing something. What does He want instead?

He wants to be my certainty.

Oswald Chambers says it quite well in My Utmost from His Highest.

Certainty is the mark of a common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways…

Ouch. I tried to argue with that rationale this week. I hoped that I could look at 1 John 3:2, the focal verse for the devotional, and determine that Chambers was out of context with his deductions. But no, he wasn’t. And I was stuck.

I had been living a common-sense life. The Lord was - and is - calling me to a life filled with Him. A life in which my only certainty is Himself. Not circumstances. Not preparation. Not clear answers or firm direction.

Just Himself.

Where is your certainty today? If it is anywhere but in Christ Himself, He will push you into circumstances that challenge your common-sense life. And it hurts. But it’s worth it.

Will you join me in “gracious uncertainty”? Together, let’s make our Lord and Savior our only certainty.

Sacrificial Rest

This week I'm sharing part three of my Rest series, originally published in Arkansas Baptist News. I wrote this as the busyness of Thanksgiving and Christmas were descending upon me. But, in all honesty, the last two months have been no less crazy. I definitely needed this reminder to glorify God sacrificially, even in those times when all I can think of is my need for rest!

The holiday season is upon us! As an introverted homebody, sometimes the busyness of this season throws me for a loop. I do love it. I love the decorations and the celebrations. I enjoy the parties and the events, even if I sometimes have to pry myself out of the warm house to attend them.

But I also need rest. And I am not quite sure I like the next lesson God has been teaching me about rest. You see, in addition to learning that rest is relational and expected, I am also learning that rest is sacrificial.

I have always been pretty selfish about rest. My opinion has always been that I need it, and I need it my way, or it doesn’t count. But when my husband and I had a conversation about a couple of passages of Scripture, I found my selfishness challenged.

In Acts 16:13, we see Paul heading down to the riverside in hopes of meeting people gathered there to pray. I have never though much about that action until Doug made a thought-provoking observation. He pointed out that Paul’s trip outside the city on the Sabbath was a sacrificial act. It was outside his norm. It was outside the parameters of rest he had been taught during his formative years.

Paul made a sacrifice.

So, where was he when he made this sacrifice? He was in Philippi. He was making the contacts that would eventually result in the Philippian church. The same Philippian church that brought him incredible joy, according to verses like Philippians 1:3. In fact, it could be argued from Scripture that this particular church provided Paul’s greatest source of strength and encouragement.

But it all started with a sacrifice.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 3:13. I have always loved the idea of encouragement among believers. But, as I look at Paul’s sacrificial investment in the Philippian church - and the return it brought - I see Hebrews 3:13 in a new light. I see that we receive our greatest encouragement, strength, and support when we are willing to sacrifice for one another, even in rest.

Now, sacrificial rest does require care because it still must be rest. It cannot become just another source of busyness. But, what would happen if we were willing to put aside our selfish conceptions of rest and determine instead to rest in fellowship with our fellow believers?

As the busy schedule presses in, I pray God will show me exactly how to rest sacrificially - and that He will allow even my rest to bear the fruit of joy and encouragement for others.

Despising the Old

Last week I shared about a willingness to make a change.

My desk is now reorganized, and I love it! I am discovering improvements I never expected from the adjustment - and this was just a minor one!

But, as I contemplate the improvements, a new thought occurs to me. I must not despise the way it used to be. Yes, that seems silly - it’s just desk organization. But, how clearly does the desk organization reflect my attitude toward my past?

Years ago, Doug and I discovered a new Christian rock band. Their first album was different from anything else in the Christian market, and we grew to love it.

Then the second album came out, and it was just okay.

What bothered me the most about the second album, though, was the attitude of the band toward their first album. They looked back on their freshman efforts and declared them immature and rough. Their new album, they claimed, was a marked improvement.

So, what does that say for the fans who loved their first album? Who liked it better than the second?

Fortunately, the band outgrew that mentality. They even returned to the style of their first album and produced several more phenomenal records before moving on to other things. But I never forgot the impact their second-album attitude had on me.

And I never forgot the lesson learned: Don’t despise what brought you to this place.

Sometimes it can be very, very hard to lay aside something that has worked well for us. When we finally do, however, we see that what God has next is infinitely more wonderful! We wonder why we chose to cling to the old for so long. And we forget that the old really was perfect for its time.

We begin to despise the old. The old friendships. The old responsibilities. The old connections. The old books. The old songs. The old whatever…it’s all just old.

But where would we be without the old?

God uses each phase of life to accomplish His great purpose. Every stage is beautiful. Every stage is important. How can we despise what God orchestrated?

There are old things in my life that I look back upon fondly. I do not regret them. Sometimes I miss them. Other times I am thankful that God moved me forward, just as I am thankful that He had me there at the time.

Other things I do not miss. Stages of life that were not what I would have preferred. Or, even if they were good at the time, they did not end as I would have hoped. So, while the experience was sweet, the aftertaste turned bitter.

But both sets of experiences brought me where I am today. Both have been used by God to shape me and grow me. Both are critical. And neither need to be despised.

Around the Web

Happy Wednesday to you! What have you found as you’ve perused the Internet this week? I have seen everything from hilarious to sobering.

Here’s just a glimpse:

The Princess Bride and Legos

Is that not a fun combination? I did not sit through this whole twelve-minute video, but I did skim through it to see the different scenes created in Legos. Yes, it’s fun. And yes, some people just have too much time on their hands.

 

Doug’s Blog

If you follow me on social media, you know that I go through spurts sharing Doug’s blog posts. Then I get behind on reading and have to catch up. Well, I’m in catch-up mode again, determined to become more regular about reading and sharing. But I thought it might be fun to share his weekly sermon post here.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

 

Adoption

After a recent trip to Kenya, these were the thoughts on Tricia Goyer’s heart:

The Sad News About Adoption in Our World

I have seen and experienced the reality that, contrary to Tricia’s experience, not everyone can easily adopt from the foster system in the state of Arkansas. But, our hurdles are mere rumble strips compared to adoption issues in places like Kenya. And, we often allow ourselves to be derailed by obstacles much more easily than we should. This is not only true of adoption but of many challenges that face the western church. When the biggest challenges to our faith are health issues and inconveniences, we must realize that we have it easy.

Please don’t get me wrong. A precious, precious family said a final goodbye to their young daughter/niece/granddaughter last week when she lost her earthly battle with cancer. There is nothing easy about that! But from a spiritual level, it is relatively easy to keep our faith and be Christians in our culture when the biggest challenges are things like cancer.

But I digress.

Tricia’s article is a good one that made me think about many issues. Worth the read.

 

Plans to Grow?

And while we’re on the topic of adoption. Need more sleeping space to fit the growing family? How about this?

Triple Bunk Bed Plans

Have a great week, and don’t forget to share what you’ve found around the web this week!

The Results We Crave

A friend of mine remarked this morning that she awakened much earlier than usual, but didn’t feel tired. Lately she has changed her eating habits for the better, and it is paying off. She feels great! The rest of us, meanwhile, are still dragging, hoping that cup of coffee or tea or Choffy will kick in and boost our energy.

Ultimately, the only thing that is going to boost our energy is following her example, disciplining ourselves to choose what is best for us rather than what tastes or feels best to us.

Everyone knows this about eating and exercise, but how often do we think about it from a spiritual perspective?

We marvel at someone else’s prayer life. He makes it look so easy! We neglect to admit that we can live the same life if we would just follow his simple example. Why does he have a great prayer life? Because he is obedient to God’s Word: pray continually, take every thought captive, think of these things.

We envy the faith of another. We wonder how, in all things both good and bad, she can just trust and rest. Even when her heart is breaking. Even when she’s on her knees in tears and pleading. Still her faith is not broken. Yet we forget that Jesus’ example is as clear for us as it is for her. “Not My will but Yours be done.

We wonder how this couple can make such a confident decision or that family can take the road less traveled even though every logical marker indicates that they should serve God in a more proven manner. Do we forget that the God of Abraham is our God as well?

The results of my actions will never exactly match someone else’s. I might pray just as fervently for healing, or the sale of a house, or provision, or relief as the next person. But God might grant her the answer she seeks while leaving me with results that I deem to be less than satisfactory.

Ultimately, though, it doesn’t come down to physical results. It comes down to the relationship. It comes down to how consistently I weather every up and down. Every sunshiny day and every storm. Every joy and every challenge.

Yes, it comes down to how I relate to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

We have everything we need to live the same biblical, relational life that the people we admire live. Will we choose to do so? Will we put in the work? Will we exert the discipline? Will we surrender?

The path is hard. The results are phenomenal. May we choose the hard path!

Urgency vs. Purpose

It is so easy to get caught up in the urgent. Do you know what I mean? We wake up each morning with thoughts about how we will spend the day. Then those little pesky things pop up, driving us to and fro. We come to the end of the day exhausted, having done and done and done and done. But when we look back, we never are really sure what it is we’ve truly accomplished.

Recently, my boss encouraged me to sit down and divide my work week into percentages. What needs to be given the highest priority? What needs to consume the least amount of time. I realized that the things that should take the least amount of time usually consume the most. Those that should consume most of my time often are given just a few moments here and there as an afterthought in the busyness of each day.

This is not just how a work day flows. I have lived through enough years without a paying job to know that a regular “mom” day works just the same. Plans are drowned out by demands until the plans seem nonexistent. We just work to survive.

I cannot help but think that God has different intentions for us. But what does it take to get there? How can we move past the survival mode to true purpose? The things that weigh us down and take up so much of our time are always going to be there. How can we thrive despite those distractions?

When I evaluated my work last week, I was reminded of the purpose of my role with Home Educating Family. I was reminded of what was most important. And I began to consciously process how to deal with the time-stealers that prevented me from accomplishing my purpose.

The same principle applies to our spiritual lives. There are things that must be done, of course. We must get up and face our duties for the day, whether they send us to an office, a field, a computer screen, a wrestling with children at home, or any other destination. But we do not have to allow those things to distract us from our true purpose.

So, what is our purpose? We were created to glorify God and relate to Him personally. How do we live that out each day? Well, that is where our individual personalities comes into play. I cannot tell you how glorifying God will look in your day. But I can tell you that you and I must both be very intentional about making sure it happens.

It is so easy to get caught up in the mundane. So easy to be trampled by the urgent. So easy to come to the end of a day, week, month, or even year and see that nothing has truly been accomplished.

Could it be that our goals are wrong? Could it be that we are too focused on survival to truly accomplish anything?

As this week closes, I encourage you to stop and think about your purpose. What distracts you from it? How can you fulfill that purpose without neglecting the necessary obligations that come up each day?

Finally, how can you merge those obligations with your purpose, honoring God in every action?

Crying out Hope

I love fiction. Although non-fiction is great and purposeful, I must confess that my brain processes stories much better.

My current fiction selection is entitled Into the Whirlwind, written by Elizabeth Camden. It opens with the great Chicago fire of 1871, giving readers a close-up view of what it must have been like to watch the city go up in flames, destroying everything in its path.

One scene struck me with particular force. As a miraculous rain fell and finally ended the raging of the fire, homeless refugees surged back into the city to find whatever shelter they could. In the novel, just as the main character is plummeting toward despair, she hears a man’s voice calling out in the midnight darkness. He is speaking words of encouragement. Words of strength. Words that remind the people to not despair. They will rebuild! They will survive! God is their strength!

According to the author, there is no historical evidence that a town crier went around calling out encouragement in the middle of that very dark night. But, the words he speaks in the novel are taken from historical records of signs put out by people all over the city. Words of hope.

I love that picture of hope. And I love the reality behind it. That hope was born out of an abiding relationship with the only One who can give such hope: Jesus. It was born out of a love for Him and a trust that His love would continue, no matter how dark the circumstances. The town crier might be fictitious, but the hope is not. It truly existed for God’s children in those dark days.

But there’s something else that strikes me from this story. The town crier could have kept that hope to himself. He could have rested on that dark night, finding a place for himself and his wife to hole up and sleep so they could tackle the hard days ahead. Instead, he walked around the city crying out, strengthening others.

Now, I know that this man is fictional. But, don’t you know people who would do this? Haven’t you heard true stories of people who share their hope with others, lifting the hearts of those around them? I have. I know people like this.

And I am convicted by them.

I live a life rooted in the knowledge that Christ is my hope. Not a hope that someday, something I desire will come to be. But a biblically rooted hope that what He has promised WILL come to pass. But what do I do with that hope? All too often, I just rest in it myself. I draw strength from it and allow it to build me up.

But I forget to share it. Ouch!

Oh to be the type of person who shares the hope I know inside my own heart. Oh to be selfless, not thinking about how I need encouragement, but instead thinking about pouring into others what has been poured into me. That is the kind of person I want to be.

Lord, make me one who pours hope into others!

Unlocking the Puzzle

As I sit down to write this, my son and I just finished working on a puzzle together. I never ceased to be amazed by the power of one little puzzle piece. One instant nothing seems to go together. Then one piece finds its place, and suddenly huge blocks of puzzle pieces find their home as well.

Puzzles are such great pictures of real life. Sometimes all we need is one little piece to unlock the roadblock we struggle to get past.

I experienced that just this week. On Monday I was given a work project. Tuesday morning I asked Doug to pray with me that all of the pieces would fall together. He smiled and immediately came up with a fun, alliterated outline. Suddenly, the wheels of my mind started turning. I very quickly had a picture of how the whole project could work. I knew exactly what help I needed from the rest of the web team - and I knew how to ask them for it! One little list unlocked a flow of creativity.

I have experienced many situations where I have tried and tried to understand something. Or I have tried to get the creative juices flowing. Or I have tried to come up with a solution. All of my efforts always produce nothing. Every single time. Somewhere out there is the key…that missing puzzle piece that I need to help it all make sense. But I can’t find it on my own.

God designed it that way. If I could find the key on my own, I would easily convince myself that I don’t need Him. He knows better. And hiding the key is one way He can get that truth through my thick skull.

How do I know this? Because when I ask Him for that missing piece, He gives it to me. Every single time. Sometimes it’s immediate, like yesterday. Other times it takes a bit more patience. But He always gives it.

What puzzles are just not fitting together for you right now? Can you share? I’d love to pray with you that God will give you that missing piece, the key to unlock your puzzle!

Make a Plan!

Later this week I will be reviewing the book that currently lives on my night stand. But the book has spurred a thought that will not really fit into the review. So, you get it now!

Each chapter of this book ends with an assessment and a series of questions. The assessment works like the standard personality test, guiding readers to evaluate their current relationship status on a number scale. The questions take that information, combine it with principles presented in the chapter, and encourage the reader to make a definite plan. A closing prayer cements the plan.

Reading the book has opened my eyes to a truth about myself. I take in some great information. I ponder it, marveling at its profound nature. And, I truly do desire to implement what I learn. But I frequently miss one important step.

I fail to make a plan.

Ironically, I am a planner. I hate going into anything without a plan of some sort. I want to know what each step will entail so I can know what to expect and balance my time along the way. That's just the way I work.

What I have realized, though, is that I only plan when a deadline is involved. If it is something open-ended like incorporating new truths into my life, I often do not even think about making a plan. I guess I expect it to just seep into my life.

May I share a little secret? It doesn't work that way!

Nothing just happens to seep into our hearts and minds. Habits do not form accidentally. Lifestyles do not change randomly. There must be a driving force behind a developing life. There must be a plan.

So, what are the steps to making a plan?

1. Pray. What a critical first step! If we do not start here, we plan and act without guidance. Oh how wasteful our effort is if we do not have a desperate need for the Lord's guidance through the process!

2. Evaluate. It's easy to miss where we are right now. Often, we are not doing as well as we think. Sometimes, though, we might surprise ourselves with the realization that we are doing more things right than we thought! But we know that there is still a problem. There is still room for improvement, and an honest evaluation of where we are shows exactly what areas need focused attention.

3. Focus on specific areas of improvement. We cannot do it all overnight. We cannot even do it all together over the course of several months. We have to narrow down the most important steps to take next. What are two or three specific areas that need work right now? What has challenged us the most? Let's identify those and tackle them first.

4. Make a plan. What are two or three actions we can take right now to work in those areas we've identified? What is one habit we can change? What is a thought pattern we should attack? Identifying the problem is only a portion of the battle. The rest comes when we actually create and implement a plan of attack. We must be intentional.

5. Make a commitment. There have been times I have identified problems, worked out a plan, and had grand designs for getting the plan accomplished. But I have skipped another important step. I have not shared my plan. “It's between me and the Lord,” I have piously told myself. But in truth I haven't even really consulted Him. I skipped step one. So at step five I have no interest in accountability. But oh how desperately we need accountability! The prayer of commitment should be two-fold. 1) It begins with a prayer, both of thanksgiving for the teaching and of repentance over past behavior. 2) We then move on to a request for guidance. This is where we ask that the Lord provide every tool and resource we need to complete the plan He has guided us to create.

And now, it's time to act. But oh how much easier it will be to act now that we are not just hoping that these new lessons will fall into place. We have a plan!

Seasons

Life has so many seasons. Some are seasons shared by those of us in community with one another. Others are personal.

When my oldest was a baby, I entered a season of digital photography. I loved taking pictures of my baby girl and then doing anything and everything with those pictures. I started making photo calendars as Christmas presents, and that tradition is still going even now.

Yet I have moved out of my great digital photography season. The camera does not come out nearly as often. The file folders that once were so meticulously organized are now relatively unattended. Even though I still happily create the calendars, I do not spend hours on digital editing. I take a much simpler approach nowadays.

My writing walks through various seasons as well. Sometimes my journaling is long and daily. In other seasons, I do well to scrawl a few sentences several times a week. In some seasons my blogs stay much more active than in others. Sometimes my focus is more on family and what I learn through interactions with my children. Other times the thoughts come more from Scripture or from interactions with other people.

My reading interests go through seasons, as do my sewing desires. Sometimes I want to read nothing but historical fiction and sit at the sewing machine. In other seasons a parenting book and some knitting needles are more what I crave.

Those are all shallow examples, but I think you get the point. Seasons come and seasons go. Some repeat themselves while others come once and then are gone forever.

Something I've realized, though, is that the seasons are all important.

Years ago I was browsing on the website of a Christian rock band I enjoy. They had just released their long-awaited sophomore album, but I was seeking information from an earlier season. Instead, I found criticism of that old season. They called it immature and claimed that they had grown greatly since their first album.

Ironically, I enjoyed their first album much more than their second. It saddened me that they had not only moved on from that earlier season of life but had also rejected it as immature. They missed the reality of the foundation the first album gave them. They were overlooking the value of that season in their lives.

Fortunately, they later returned to that foundation and built upon it as they continued their career. As a fan of their music, I'm thankful for that return. But, I'm also thankful for their temporary distraction. Without that distraction, I never would have read their thoughts and been disturbed by them. Without that sense of disturbance, I might never have stopped to truly contemplate the value of all seasons. I, too, might have been quick to reject certain seasons of my life.

As I look back over the seasons of my life, I smile at some and blush over others. There are always things I feel I could have handled better. There are mistakes I'd rather not have made. But all of those seasons contribute to who I am today. They have had an impact on the relationships I enjoy with my Savior, my family, and all with whom I come in contact.

I am thankful for every season. May the same be said of yours.

Formula or Relationship?

I like checklists. But sometimes checklists are the exact opposite of what I need.

Checklists make me think that everything is urgent. I must stay focused to mark off those little boxes. And what if I don't? Have I failed?

That mentality often affects my prayer life as well. Have I said the right things? Have I worked through my prayer list correctly? What if I am not doing it the right way? Will God still hear me? What if I leave something out? Can my prayer list really cover everything that needs to be covered?

So, I go back to Scripture and I see a wonderful formula in the Lord's Prayer. If I just follow that formula, it will all be okay, right?

But then I realize that I'm just repeating words. Am I really praying? Or am I just right back at the beginning, wondering if I've really done this things correctly?

Recently I read a devotional by Spurgeon dealing with the spirit behind the Lord's Prayer. It was like a breath of fresh air. It's not about right or wrong – it's about how our prayers move us into the right attitude as we stand before the throne of God.

• a frame of mind to recognize His holiness

• surrender to His will, recognizing that furthering His kingdom is of utmost importance

• recognition of His provision, putting aside worry and anxiety as we rest in that knowledge

• recognition of our sin and need for His forgiveness

• a right consideration of, acknowledging that they, too, need forgiveness

• a vision of the reality that He is our deliverer and that He holds all power and authority

All of these things put us in a frame of mind to interact relationally and submissively in prayer to an Almighty God. It's not about the formula. It's never about the formula. It's about the relational interaction.

I will never truly grow in Christ until I surrender my formulas. I will simply go through motions that result in systematic action rather than heart interaction. I choose instead to step into an active relationship with Him. When I do, my prayers will never be wrong.

Do They Know?

Last Thursday we returned to our alma mater for a one-day conference. This conference is held every year for pastors, and I get the privilege of joining my husband for some fantastic teaching. It's such a nourishing time. Every year we leave with our heads and hearts full of teaching, encouragement, and renewed passion. Almost before we walk out the door, the date is reserved on our calendars for the next year. There are several things we look forward to every year, but not much tops this particular day.

But, it's about more than just the training. It's about the mentoring. I graduated over fifteen years ago. My last religion course was first semester of my senior year. Yet these professors still know me by name. Their secretary, the precious and amazing lady who makes this conference possible, was my Sunday school teacher 19 years ago. All of them still invest in my husband and me. They greet us with enthusiastic strides across a room to say hello, check on us, and give us hugs.

I can spin that thought around and think of other people who have crossed our paths over the years. The youth we have led. The couples we have mentored and encouraged. The church members in whose lives we have invested. Oh how I love hearing from them! How I love knowing where they are now and participating in their lives. I might not be close enough for daily involvement anymore, but it's so rewarding and encouraging to see God working through those with whom we've been allowed to mingle over the years.

There is a key to all of this, though. That key is keeping in touch. Think back to the people who have mentored you over the years, whether formally or informally. Do they know where you are today? Have you talked to them recently? Do they have any idea what God is doing in your life right now?

Allow me to let you in on a little secret: They want to!

Mentors come and go. They fill our lives for a time, and then that time passes. In today's transient society, few of us truly have the opportunity to stay near everyone who has invested in us throughout the course of our lives. But, that does not mean we have to completely walk away.

As I type this, I cannot help but think of the various people who have invested in me over the years. Older mentors. Peers. Church members. Church leaders. Family friends. The list grows in my mind with name after name after name. I smile as I think of them. I want them to know about that smile.

What about your mentors? Do they know? Do they know where you are today? Do they know what they've meant to you over the years? Do they know the fruit of their investment?

Our former professors and Sunday school teacher thanked us for attending the annual pastor's conference. They thanked us! Here we were overwhelmed with gratitude for the effort they put into hosting the conference every year and continuing to invest in us, and yet they were the ones thanking us for coming.

Yet I can understand that. When someone I've invested in seeks me out to ask for prayer or ask my opinion or just to say hi, my joy overflows. I love it! My gratitude knows no bounds.

What about your mentors. Do they know? I'm willing to be they want to. Look one of them up today, just to say hi. Believe me, you'll be glad you did.

Decisions

There are certain verses in Scripture for which, in all honesty, we need no context. The whole of Scripture is their context. The knowledge of God's character is their context. If we are familiar with those things, we really need not know what else is going on specifically in the surrounding verses. Zechariah 6:15 is one of those verses, especially the last part.

“Those who are far off will come and build the temple of the Lord.” Then you will know that the Lord of hosts has sent me to you. And it will take place if you completely obey the Lord your God. Zechariah 6:15 (emphasis mine)

I struggle with decision making. I want to know beforehand, with absolutely certainty, that something will work out. What if I make the wrong decision? What if I'm not hearing from the Lord correctly? Ultimately, though, the pros and cons are not what I need to consider when making a decision. Obedience is. And if I step out in obedience, He will take care of the consequences. They might not be pretty consequences. But, they will be blessed if I walk in obedience, and I will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my choice has been based in obedience to the Lord my God!

There is a song by Smalltown Poets that I just love. It's probably my favorite of their songs, and it deals with this very issue. The song is called “Hold It Up to the Light,” and one particular stanza affects me most strongly:

I was dead with decided, afraid to choose

I was mourning the loss of the choices I'd lose

But there's no choice at all if I don't make my move

And trust that the timing is right

I will hold it up, hold it up to the light

If you do look at the context of the verse from Zechariah, you will see that God is sending messages to the exiles. Their whole world fell apart when Jerusalem was taken and the children of God were hauled into exile. Slowly, they are beginning to come back around to their God. Slowly, they are learning that their exile is the direct result of generations of sin and unfaithfulness.

Now, a man stands before them, claiming to have a word from God. He's a prophet, and some strange things have come out of his mouth. Yet he has given them instructions that he declares to be from the Lord their God. They have a decision to make. Will they step out and follow the instructions? Or will they continue to walk in disobedience? Ultimately, only after they step out in obedience to His commands will they receive confirmation and see the promises of God fulfilled. And some of the fulfillment will be seen by future generations, not by themselves. But first, before anyone sees anything from the hand of God, they have to obey.

I want to make sure I have heard from the Lord. But, I cannot allow my indecisive nature to prevent me from walking in obedience. I will obey. I will step out. And He will take care of the rest.

Click here for the rest of the lyrics to “Hold It Up to the Light.”

And here's the song, if you're interested:

Thoughts on Cooking & Writing

I am a competent cook. I can follow a recipe and create a meal my family truly enjoys. In fact, I can create meals that people outside my family enjoy as well. At least, that's what I'm told.

Then there's my husband. For him, a recipe is only an idea. He glances at recipes to understand typical cooking times and ratios, and then he takes off on his own. And let me tell you, my husband can cook! Wow!

My husband and I see food preparation very differently. We can think of the exact same menu, but the preparation and presentation of said menu will vary greatly depending on which of us is cooking. For example, last night for supper Doug made us peanut butter and banana toast. Now, I enjoy PNB and banana. But when I make it, it looks like this:

Pop a piece of bread in the toaster. When it is nicely toasted, spread peanut butter on top. Slice a banana and press the slices into the peanut butter. Enjoy.

When Doug made it last night, it was mouth-wateringly different! He pan-grilled two pieces of bread. Then he plated the bread and spooned some peanut butter into the warm skillet. Once that had softened nicely, he stirred in very thinly sliced pieces of banana and warmed them ever so slightly. He spooned this mixture onto the pieces of bread, and then topped the whole thing with a room temperature honey-sweetened peanut butter mixture.

That's just one simple example of the differences between our cooking. Needless to say, I love it when he cooks. I don't enjoy cooking all that much anyway. It's just a chore to me. But he thoroughly enjoys the experience of creating in the kitchen.

Of course, I have my own passions. For example, we're both writers. And he's a fantastic writer! But, he enjoys writing because it provides him an outlet for sharing his thoughts. I, on the other hand, truly love words. I love how they fit together. I enjoy the relaxed feeling of just writing whatever comes to my mind for this blog, but I also crave the challenge of making words and grammar work beautifully together for my editing job. There's something thrilling about learning the rules and then discovering ways to break them.

My husband and I both have similar skills. The difference lies in our vision. We see the implementation of our skills differently. I see cooking as a practical necessity for keeping my family filled. He sees it as an outlet for his creativity and a way to unwind and relax. He sees writing as a way to communicate thoughts that come to his mind but don't fit anywhere in his role as pastor. I am fueled and energized by writing and working with words.

There are always things we need to accomplish for practical reasons. But how many of us truly stop and let God show us the things He created us to enjoy? I think we are perhaps afraid that we're being poor stewards of our time if we pursue things we actually enjoy. That's supposed to be only for vacation or weekends, right? We can't possibly indulge in such frivolity on a regular basis!

Oh yes, we can! And we should! God Himself created us with those passions. He built them into the core of our beings for the purpose of accomplishing His will. When we ignore those passions, we wear ourselves out with work that brings no joy. When we let Him work through those passions, we are energized to face every aspect of this walk of life. Oh what delight!

What can God do through your passions today?

Homeschool Growth

A thought hit me this morning as I washed the dishes before school: Homeschooling has taught me much about spiritual growth. As I look back over six and a half years of homeschooling, I find it quite amazing how the learning curves parallel. Yet, I don't always pay attention to the spiritual side of the lessons that are so obvious on the homeschool side. Today, though, I paid attention. Will you allow me to share a few of the thoughts that passed through my mind?

Three Spiritual Realities Homeschooling Has Taught Me

Learning is a long, slow process.

My wonderful husband preached on this yesterday, and my mind mulled over it this morning. When my children first learned to read, it was a slow, painstaking process. Well, for two of them, at least. They learned their letters quickly, but had to work hard to discover what it meant to combine those letters into sounds and then words. My middle child, on the other hand, had no such difficulty. About a month before her fifth birthday I knew she was ready to begin the process. So, we started learning letter sounds. Within four months the child was reading on a fifth grade level. I couldn't keep up with her! But, where her siblings struggled with the mechanics of reading, she struggled with comprehension. Words never stopped her. Meanings, however, did. All three of them had to work to learn to read. And they are still working to continually strengthen their reading muscles and advance their abilities.

Meanwhile, there is an incredibly beautiful lady at church, one I consider a spiritual giant. She has seen her children and grandchildren to adulthood and is now delighting in beautiful great-grandchildren. She has been a Christian for decades. Yet still she visibly grows. Her heart and mind are curious, hungering, and constantly reaching. Just as my children slowly learn the concept of reading, she, and other spiritual giants like her, are still slowly learning spiritual truths that will more greatly conform them to the likeness of Christ. Slowly. Steadily.

No one can know everything at once.

This might seem like a repeat of the first point, but it really is different. It's easy to look at the vast amount of information out there and want to dump it all in my children's heads right now! As my seventh grader starts pre-algebra, a calculus lecture from her father will be incredibly overwhelming for her.

That example seems obvious, I'm sure. Yet how often do we despair because we lack a solid grasp on the entirety of what it means to be a Christian? I remember a conversation with a newly saved young mom. The enormity of all she did not know weighed heavily upon her, leaving her in tears of frustration. Relief washed over her as we discussed taking small bites of Scripture and focusing on what the Lord was teaching her right then. Just as my seventh grader should only be expected to focus on pre-algebra, building on the math she learned throughout her elementary years, so we need only focus on the foundation we have established and the truths God is placing before us right now.

I am not teaching information.

When I tell people I homeschool, one of the most frequent responses I hear is, “I could never do that! I'm not smart enough! I don't know enough to teach my children.” My response? Neither do I! When I first began homeschooling, I felt I had to know information before I could teach it to my children. I've since learned differently. My job is not to feed knowledge to them. My job is to build within them a passion for learning. All three of my precious students caught the learning bug at a very young age. They hunger for it. They crave it. They seek out and heartily embrace opportunities to learn new things. It matters little what I know. I must simply teach them how to satisfy their hunger for learning. I guide them to the appropriate resources, often learning right alongside them. What a joy such learning is!

At church I teach youth girls. Several of these girls have been raised in church, yet they seem to have very little familiarity with the Bible and its contents. Why? It's not because they haven't been taught – I know they have! It's more that they've never caught a passion for the things of God. They've never discovered the joy of hungering after His Word. I can't force that onto them. None of their teachers can. But we can live it in front of them! We can exhibit such a passion of our own that they desire what we have! It's not an easy thing to communicate to teenagers who think learning is uncool. As I walk through the Bible with them, I hunger and pray that my excitement will be contagious. I don't want to just give them information about the Bible. I want them to catch a hunger for it!

Yes, homeschooling has taught me much about science and history and many other things. But, it has also strengthened me spiritual. What a joy that God can grow me through every aspect of my service to Him!

Rest & Work

Do you ever have days that simply fly by with little or no rest? Maybe it's not just days – maybe it stretches into the whole week.

This week has been non-stop from start to finish. We started our new homeschool year on Monday. I have had to try to learn how to balance school and work for the first time. We have had obligations and activities just about every night this week, and I've had more work meetings than usual. It's been a good week. A very good week. But a full one as well.

There has been almost no down time.

I saw a quote yesterday. I don't remember where I saw the quote, who it was from, or what the exact wording was. But, the idea was something along the lines of this: rest gives birth to our creativity. Without rest, we have no opportunity to be creative.

Oh how true! My heart and mind have been so task driven this week that I have not even been able to think creatively! No blog posts have roamed around in my head. Even attending Bernina Club yesterday with all of the great Christmas ideas and patterns did not stir me out of my “check the box of this activity” mentality like it usually does. I came home with a bag of practicals – things I went in knowing I was going to need. I snapped a few pictures of project ideas, knowing I could come back to those ideas later when I was in a more creative mode. Then I just walked away.

No rest stifles creativity.

I'm realizing two things about this.

First, I must be intentional about working rest into each and every week. If possible, I need a little of it each day as well! But, definitely each week. This is not a new concept. It's been around since the creation of the universe. God made us all that way. Will I obey Him and ensure that rest in Him happens?

Secondly, however, I need to realize that it's not all about rest. Sometimes the best way to train the mind to focus its creativity in the right direction is to be busy with a good work. Be focused. Not allow our creativity to take us directions we do not need to go.

Oh how careful we must be with this, however! Careful to surrender all our plans to the Lord and accomplish what He lays before us instead of what we think we must do. Careful to not block out the voice of the Lord in our busyness, but to hear Him each step of the way. Careful to ensure that our busyness does not shut out relationships. But when we are careful and obedient in our busyness, we will find that God's will is accomplished through us and our times of rest in Him are even more beautiful than ever!

This has been a full, but good, week. Today I still have far to go before I rest tonight, side by side with my wonderful husband. Work will be demanded tomorrow as we prepare for a new week. But, this week has been bathed in prayer. Every moment of anxiety has been lifted up to the Savior. Every task that remains before me has been surrendered to His ultimate authority. And in brief moments of rest this morning, He has directed my thoughts to creativity that honors Himself.

Yes, rest breeds creativity. Obedient work breeds productivity. And submission to Him grants the perfect balance of the two. That, my friends, is where I desire to live.

Panic!

Ah, I'm chuckling as I watch those chickens panic!

If you've never seen Chicken Run, you're missing a treat. The owners of a chicken farm are “sick and tired of miniscule profits” that come from simply selling eggs. So, they decide to switch to a more profitable version of chicken farming. The chickens, however, are not nearly as keen on the idea. They seem to think egg-laying is a little less hazardous to their health than being used for chicken pie filling. I'm inclined to agree!

A couple of the hens are bound and determined to think logically through the problem and find a way to escape certain death. The rest of them? Well, just click on the video above for a reminder of their reaction!

I love Chicken Run because it serves as a great reminder. My first reaction to times of stress is to panic. I'm overwhelmed! There's no way out! I can't do this! We're all going to die!!!!!

I'm a worrier by nature. I wish I could just be laid back and have a “hakuna matata” nature (yep, I'm in the mood for quoting children's movies today, it seems!), but that's just not me. I'm a “now is the perfect time to panic!” kind of person.

But I'm learning a better way. I'm learning to stop and breathe. To take in the truth of my situation. Sometimes it really is as bad as it looks at first glance, but stopping to breathe takes my focus off the situation and puts it where it belongs – on my Savior. Other times, the changed focus really does help me get a handle on reality and see that things are not nearly as overwhelming as I make them out to be.

Do you need to breathe today? Allow me to offer a few suggestions.

1. Watch the chickens. Yep, again. Go ahead – you know you want to chuckle!

2. As you take a deep breath, pray for God's perspective. Pray that He will overcome your desire to panic with a feeling of rest in Him.

3. Take stock of the reality of your situation and lay it at His feet. Ask for His wisdom and discernment. Ask Him to show you if anything is standing in the way of finding peace and rest in Him no matter the circumstances.

4. ACT!!! Take that first step of faith, plodding your way through whatever is before you as if the victory has already been won.

Your moment of panic might be something huge and unexpected. Or it could simply be the normal day in and day out process of life. Either way, go ahead and scream if you need to, and then be ready to receive His peace. He's ready to give it!

Through Grace

I am so imperfect. So very imperfect. I make mistakes in just about every aspect of my life. Okay, so not “just about.” In every aspect.

Yet, I love to exhort others. I want to show them how they can grow in Christ. This includes my own children. They know I mess up on a daily basis. They know I yell, snap, and get agitated when I should show patience and self-control. They know I am not always diligent with my time. They know I can be a very poor steward of our home. They see all of this.

So, how to I pour into my children – and into others – when I obviously struggle myself?

I think the answer comes from Romans 12. Here are the first few verses.

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. Romans 12: 1-3 (emphasis mine)

Sacrifice

Others may see that I mess up, but do they also see that I am continually presenting myself to God as a sacrifice? Sometimes that fire gets hot and I want to jump off the altar for a little while. That's when I mess up. Every day. Some days more frequently than others, but it still happens daily. But if others can see that my heart desires to present all of me as a living and holy sacrifice, then they know I acknowledge the ways I mess up and they know I know the right way to go.

Conformation

Am I changing? Am I growing? Am I more obedient, more submissive, and less rebellious than I was five years ago? One year ago? Six months ago? Can people see that? If I am growing, then I can feed that growth into others.

Humility

Do I think I'm all that? Or do I acknowledge that any good in me is from the Lord? If the latter is true, then I am not pointing people to my awesome grasp of how it should be done. I am pointing them to the Lord who works through me to accomplish His purposes.

Sound Judgment and Faith

When I think according to God's Word and trust in His plan, I am not training others in my own agenda. I am pointing them to God's.

Grace

I saved this one for last because, in all honesty, it is what everything else hinges around. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard parents say, “Well, I can't tell my child no because he knows I did the same thing when I was his age. If I tell him no, then he's going to think me a hypocrite.”

Oh how that train of thought makes my heart ache! God had granted us grace that overcomes anything in our past. Anything. Are we living that grace? Can we point to how God rescued us from our foolishness and brought us to a path of wisdom? Then we must share that with our children! Yes, we messed up. We sinned. We were wrong. Must they suffer through the same thing?

Or is there something deeper here? Could it be that we haven't truly moved on from that sin? Perhaps we admitted that someone else thought it was wrong, but we haven't confessed that we truly sinned. We have simply made excuses for our behavior. If that is the case, it is true: we cannot tell someone else they're wrong because we've never admitted we were wrong.

Oh how God's grace longs to cover us! Oh how He desires to work through us to draw others to Himself! We are all imperfect, but we are forgiven. We are covered. We are restored. Our shame has been removed. Now, let us pass that on to our children and to our fellow believers. Not because we're so great but because “through the grace given to” us, we are able to point to a gracious, amazing Father who will work for His purposes.

Energy & Stewardship

A few weeks ago, a cartoon was making its way around Facebook. The cartoon walks through life as an introvert. (If you want to see the cartoon, click here, but please note that I have not explored the rest of this site for content.)

The cartoon does a phenomenal job of explaining introverts, but one aspect of the explanation was particularly interesting to me. It discussed the differences between how introverts and extroverts are energized. I had never quite thought through that concept before.

About this same time, I was dealing with something emotional. I couldn't really put my finger on what I felt, but I kept trying to identify it.

Anxiety. Edginess. Irritability. Nervousness. That “something is just about to happen” feeling. Or something needing to be done. Or maybe restless energy...that's it!!

It struck me like a flash of lightning. Restless energy.

Our entire summer had been busy, busy, busy up to that point, and it wasn't about to stop. We constantly had something going on. But, the interesting thing was that our activity was very withdrawn. I didn't really have to be around people to accomplish the things before me. My tasks benefited people. In odd ways, they even ministered to people. But, it was all behind-the-scenes kind of stuff.

In light of that, we had worked hard to protect our social calendar through the summer. Being a predominantly introverted family, we don't do well with a great deal of people time when we're busy. So, we knew we needed to protect our energy because of the busy schedule. Or so we thought.

It suddenly struck me that maybe I'd been wrong about that. You see, as an introvert, I am energized by the behind-the-scenes, non-social tasks I get to do. They fuel me. They motivate me. They, well, energize me.

But, I've never really stopped to contemplate what they energize me to do! Nor have I considered what happens if I let that energy build up too much. In all honesty, building it up too much rarely happens because our family exists in a socially-centered ministry. But occasionally we have situations like this summer when we intentionally protect our energy-building times. And when we do, the energy builds...and builds...and builds.

Even the most extreme introverts needs to utilize that energy. I would say the same is true of extroverts, although it looks very different for them.

I get so caught up in the concept of building up my energy by withdrawing that I rarely think about intentionally expending that energy. As I ponder this concept for the first time, I feel like a young child being introduced to money. I don't know how much certain social interactions cost or how much withdrawal time I need to make sure my bank account can handle the deduction. I don't know how to budget my energy. I have not really paid specific attention to the good and bad places to spend my energy.

I also have not learned to how to handle going into debt. And yes, I think there are some times when energy debt is worthwhile. An introvert cannot truly go on a ten-day mission trip without going into debt. It's just not possible. So, how do we handle that debt? Where does the loan come from? And what does it take to both get back to even and build up more for the next expenditure?

Looking back, I can see how many times I have wasted the energy God has allowed me to build up in times of withdrawal. I have squandered the balance of my energy account rather than focusing it on useful interaction. When I waste my energy, I'm never fulfilled. I want to change that!

I'm ready to become a good steward of my energy account. God allows us all, whether introverts or extroverts, to fill up our account. But it's not just for our own pleasure. It's for His glory, honor, and purposes. Will we use our energy wisely, or will we build it up only to squander it? May we pay attention and be good stewards of our accounts! And may we find extreme joy and fulfillment as we use our energy for His glory!

The Unknown

We recently read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as a summer family read-aloud. Everyone in the family had read it before except my youngest. Although he is reading chapter books, he's not quite ready to tackle the Chronicles of Narnia on his own. But, with two older sisters who love Narnia, we knew it was time to introduce him!

There is so much incredible spiritual imagery in the Narnia series, and it was beautiful to see truths light up in my son's eyes as he listened to my husband read. I especially loved watching his body posture change with the first mentions of Aslan. As Doug read the responses of Edmund, Peter, Susan, and Lucy to the very mention of Aslan's name, I could literally see the thrill move through my son. And I felt it in myself, too. I'd read the book before, but there was something powerful about hearing it read aloud to me.

The most beautiful thing is that C. S. Lewis did not pull such emotional responses to the unknown out of thin air. The spiritual imagery in the Chronicles of Narnia contemplates what the presence of God and Jesus might look like in another world. So, the responses of the characters is very similar to what you might find in Scripture.

I could use so many passages of Scripture to explore the amazing impact of joy in the unknown, but I will choose Psalm 16. It is the passage that stood out to me most recently.

I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; indeed, my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay. You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:7-11 (emphasis mine)

As I read this passage, I realized that David was rejoicing in something he did not understand. You see, the Old Testament does not really teach much about eternity or an afterlife. Yes, there is evidence of it. And yes, teachings of heaven did form among the Jews (leading to one of the major points of disagreement between the Pharisees and Sadducees of the New Testament era). But David really did not have a great deal of context for what came after death.

Even so, a great deal of David's rejoicing came from the fact that he could trust the Lord with his soul, both in life and in death.

David's reference to God's Holy One also stands out. In this, he wrote about the Savior of whom he knew nothing. Essentially, throughout this psalm, David is rejoicing in the unknown. He pens the words, but he does not really know what they mean. He just knows that they awaken an intense flow of praise within him.

When we limit ourselves to rejoicing only in the known, we miss so much. We know so little about God and His incredible kingdom. So very little! May we allow ourselves to be thrilled by the unknown as well. May we respond when those rushes of awe speed through us like lightning. May we worship simply because we know we can trust Him.